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Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentages of male and female students getting top grades in 1960 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of male and female students getting top grades in 1960 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentages #students #grades #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These two graphs compare students
according to
Linking Words
 the highest
grades
Use synonyms
 in the
years
Use synonyms
 1960 and 2000. The charts describe separately the
men
Use synonyms
 and the
women
Use synonyms
, and their marks in five different objects -
science
Use synonyms
,
arts
Use synonyms
,
maths
Use synonyms
, languages and humanities. The
men
Use synonyms
 had higher
grades
Use synonyms
 in
science
Use synonyms
 and
maths
Use synonyms
 in 1960 compared to 2000. In
arts
Use synonyms
 and
humanities
Add a comma
humanities,
show examples
 the
men
Use synonyms
 were better in the year 2000. They got the same marks in
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
. In the
Use synonyms
women
Add a comma
women,
show examples
 the situation was completely different. They were assessed by higher
grades
Use synonyms
 in
arts
Use synonyms
, languages and humanities in the year 1960.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they got lower
grades
Use synonyms
 in
science
Use synonyms
, and the same grade in
maths
Use synonyms
. Generally speaking, the
women
Use synonyms
 were assessed with better
grades
Use synonyms
 in 1960;
science
Use synonyms
 and
maths
Use synonyms
 were not preferred objects. In the group of
Use synonyms
men
Add a comma
men,
show examples
 there were
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
constant changes in the height of
grades
Use synonyms
, the lowest grade they got in
arts
Use synonyms
 in 1960.
To conclude
Linking Words
, only languages in
men
Use synonyms
 and
maths
Use synonyms
 in
women
Use synonyms
 were assessed by the same
grades
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in the other
subjects
Add a comma
subjects,
show examples
 there were many changes during
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 sexes.
Submitted by jana.smalcova on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words grades, years, men, women, science, arts, maths, both with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentages
  • top grades
  • achievement
  • gender disparity
  • educational trends
  • academic performance
  • comparison
  • decade
  • educational policy
  • societal expectations
  • improvement
  • educational attainment
  • graduates
  • academic excellence
  • statistics
  • educational landscape
  • benchmark
  • parity
  • gender roles
  • historical data
  • performance indicators
  • educational improvements
  • longitudinal study
  • scholastic achievement
  • gender gap
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