IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. You recently went to a restaurant but think you could have left your credit card behind. Write to the restaurant. In your letter •Tell them when you went there •Describe where you think you may have left the credit card •Explain what you would like the restaurant to do You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#minutes #restaurant #credit #card #•tell #•describe #•explain #addresses
Dear Sir or Madam, I am one of your
customer
Change to a plural noun
customers
show examples
 who came at your restaurant yesterday. I am writing
this
 letter because
l
 lost my
credit
card
, and
l
 forgot where
l
 put it. I am the first customer who came
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your restaurant yesterday. I came around 8 o'clock in the morning with my friend, and
l
 remembered yesterday that my number table is 8.
Although
l
 do not remember where
l
 put my
credit
card
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
l
 remember that
l
 used my
credit
card
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 pay the bill. I think that
l
forget
Wrong verb form
forgot
show examples
 to bring back my
credit
card
 after
l
pay
Wrong verb form
paid
show examples
 the bill
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
the cashier
show examples
cashier
Change noun form
cashier's
show examples
 table. I hope that my
credit
card
 is found because it is very important
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 me. The
progress
Correct your spelling
process
show examples
 to report losing
credit
Correct article usage
a credit
show examples
card
 is long. Please help me, to inform your cashier or employee if they have seen my
credit
card
, and please contact me as soon as possible when they found it. Thank you for your help. Yours faithfully, Andrianto Raharja
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear and separate idea. Your second paragraph blends different ideas which could be more clearly structured with separate paragraphs for when you visited, where you think you left the card, and your description of the card use.
coherence cohesion
Your letter lacks a logical structure, with details spread across the text rather than organised by paragraphs. Introduce one idea per paragraph in a logical order to improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
While you have addressed all points in the task, there's a need for more detail and precision in your response. Elaborate on the description of where you may have left the card to provide a clearer and more complete response.
task achievement
The writing tone is generally suitable for the task, but some phrases are informal and not appropriate for a letter to a restaurant. Pay attention to maintaining a polite and formal tone throughout.

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