IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. You recently went to a restaurant but think you could have left your credit card behind. Write to the restaurant. In your letter •Tell them when you went there •Describe where you think you may have left the credit card •Explain what you would like the restaurant to do You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#minutes #restaurant #credit #card #•tell #•describe #•explain #addresses
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am one of your
customer
Change to a plural noun
customers
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 who came at your restaurant yesterday. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter because
l
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 lost my
credit
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card
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, and
l
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 forgot where
l
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 put it. I am the first customer who came
at
Change preposition
to
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 your restaurant yesterday. I came around 8 o'clock in the morning with my friend, and
l
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 remembered yesterday that my number table is 8.
Although
Linking Words
l
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 do not remember where
l
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 put my
credit
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card
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,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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l
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 remember that
l
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 used my
credit
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card
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for
Change preposition
to
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 pay the bill. I think that
l
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forget
Wrong verb form
forgot
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 to bring back my
credit
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card
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 after
l
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pay
Wrong verb form
paid
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 the bill
in
Change preposition
at
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Correct article usage
the cashier
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cashier
Change noun form
cashier's
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 table. I hope that my
credit
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card
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 is found because it is very important
for
Change preposition
to
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 me. The
progress
Correct your spelling
process
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 to report losing
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credit
Correct article usage
a credit
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card
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 is long. Please help me, to inform your cashier or employee if they have seen my
credit
Use synonyms
card
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, and please contact me as soon as possible when they found it. Thank you for your help. Yours faithfully, Andrianto Raharja
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear and separate idea. Your second paragraph blends different ideas which could be more clearly structured with separate paragraphs for when you visited, where you think you left the card, and your description of the card use.
coherence cohesion
Your letter lacks a logical structure, with details spread across the text rather than organised by paragraphs. Introduce one idea per paragraph in a logical order to improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
While you have addressed all points in the task, there's a need for more detail and precision in your response. Elaborate on the description of where you may have left the card to provide a clearer and more complete response.
task achievement
The writing tone is generally suitable for the task, but some phrases are informal and not appropriate for a letter to a restaurant. Pay attention to maintaining a polite and formal tone throughout.
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