IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The table illustrates the available income from each family and how it spends on food and outfits, while the pie charts represent the proportion of spending on those categories in 2010 and 2013.

The table illustrates the available income from each family and how it spends on food and outfits, while the pie charts represent the proportion of spending on those categories in 2010 and 2013.
Based on the data,
it is clear that
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
 the total income of an average British family decreased between 2010 and 2013, the total amount of money spent on
food
Use synonyms
 and clothing increased.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that, British society spent
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money on
food
Use synonyms
 rather than on
clothes
Use synonyms
 in both years. In 2010, an average British family earned £29,000,
whereas
Linking Words
 nearly half of that amount was used for
food
Use synonyms
 and
clothes
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2013, the average income of a family in Britain decreased by £25,000,
while
Linking Words
 there was a growth of £1,000 in the expenditure for
food
Use synonyms
 and
clothes
Use synonyms
. Regarding the pie charts, the percentage
Change preposition
of
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for
Change preposition
of
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 spending on meat and fish was the highest of all categories in 2010, at 29
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, but three years later experienced a drop to 23
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In the same case, a downward trend was seen in the figure for
clothes
Use synonyms
, from 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 13
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2013.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people in Britain spend more money
to consume
Change the verb form
consuming
show examples
 fruit, vegetables, and dairy products, as the figures went up 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 16
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively. Meanwhile, the proportion of spending on other foods remained unchanged at exactly 18%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, clothes, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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