These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Migration
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is quite popular
to
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apply
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around the world,
as a result
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, numerous families move to other nations
due to
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the
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apply
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better employment opportunities.
However
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, some claim that the toddler who belongs to these families can obtain many advantages from
its
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it
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while
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others say that
this
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migration
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can create
hard
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a hard
the hard
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situation
to
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for
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the
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apply
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infants
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.
This
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essay shall discuss both
the
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apply
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viewpoints and I will give my opinion. On the one hand, there are so many
benefits
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for
children
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move
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moving
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to
the
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apply
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other countries, especially the developed territories. A child can get the best education
along with
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the advanced laboratory facilities,
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as
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and as
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a result, he will get
the
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a
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better job position in future. Medical and education are free in developed nations, so, parents are moved there
while
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their
children
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can live a better lifestyle in order to they are not able to face the poverty in their life.
Fir
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For
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example, many Indian families
are
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apply
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moved to Canada for work
while
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they
can
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could
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bring
to
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apply
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their
infants
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along
them
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with them
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,
hence
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, toddlers can get free education and medical as compared to their own nations. So,
Children
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get more
benefits
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from
this
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move.
On the other hand
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, some toddlers can suffer these kinds of
migration
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, they cannot accept the new environment and need culture suddenly, consequence, they might be isolated from
the
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apply
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society. To be more precise,
the
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apply
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infants
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could
be suffered
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suffer
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by
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from
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bullying,
new
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and new
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students especially
the
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apply
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other country students are mostly affected by bullying.
For instance
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,
America
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American
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students do bullying to other peers who
came
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come
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from another territory. Moving to
other country
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another country
other countries
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may
be obtained
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cause
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some mental problems for
infants
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like depression and stress.
To conclude
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, raising
children
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in
foreign
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a foreign
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land is difficult and they
also
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suffer many.
However
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,
this
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migration
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brings more
benefits
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for
children
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.
Therefore
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, in my opinion
about
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apply
show examples
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apply
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this
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,
certainly
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apply
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toddlers can
be obtained
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obtain
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many
benefits
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from
this
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migration
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.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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task achievement
Your essay attempts to discuss both views and gives a conclusion, which aligns with the prompt's requirements. However, the task response is somewhat limited because the examples provided are not fully developed or detailed. To achieve a higher score, ensure each paragraph effectively elaborates on the point being made with clear and specific examples that strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is evident, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use a range of cohesive devices to aid the flow from one idea to another. Each paragraph should have one clear main idea with supporting sentences that are relevant and well-connected to the main topic.
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