These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Migration
is quite popular Use synonyms
to
around the world, Change preposition
apply
as a result
, numerous families move to other nations Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
the
better employment opportunities. Correct article usage
apply
However
, some claim that the toddler who belongs to these families can obtain many advantages from Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
while
others say that Linking Words
this
Linking Words
migration
can create Use synonyms
hard
situation Add an article
a hard
the hard
to
Change preposition
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
infants
. Use synonyms
This
essay shall discuss both Linking Words
the
viewpoints and I will give my opinion.
On the one hand, there are so many Correct article usage
apply
benefits
for Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
move
to Wrong verb form
moving
the
other countries, especially the developed territories. A child can get the best education Correct article usage
apply
along with
the advanced laboratory facilities, Linking Words
Linking Words
as
a result, he will get Correct word choice
and as
the
better job position in future. Medical and education are free in developed nations, so, parents are moved there Correct article usage
a
while
their Linking Words
children
can live a better lifestyle in order to they are not able to face the poverty in their life.Use synonyms
Fir
example, many Indian families Correct your spelling
For
are
moved to Canada for work Unnecessary verb
apply
while
they Linking Words
can
bring Wrong verb form
could
to
their Change preposition
apply
infants
along Use synonyms
them
, Change preposition
with them
hence
, toddlers can get free education and medical as compared to their own nations. So, Linking Words
Children
get more Use synonyms
benefits
from Use synonyms
this
move.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, some toddlers can suffer these kinds of Linking Words
migration
, they cannot accept the new environment and need culture suddenly, consequence, they might be isolated from Use synonyms
the
society. To be more precise, Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
infants
could Use synonyms
be suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
by
bullying, Change preposition
from
new
students especially Correct word choice
and new
the
other country students are mostly affected by bullying. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, Linking Words
America
students do bullying to other peers who Replace the word
American
came
from another territory. Moving to Wrong verb form
come
other country
may Change the wording
another country
other countries
be obtained
some mental problems for Wrong verb form
cause
infants
like depression and stress.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, raising Linking Words
children
in Use synonyms
foreign
land is difficult and they Add an article
a foreign
also
suffer many. Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
this
Linking Words
migration
brings more Use synonyms
benefits
for Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, in my opinion Linking Words
about
Change preposition
apply
Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
, Linking Words
certainly
toddlers can Rephrase
apply
be obtained
many Wrong verb form
obtain
benefits
from Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
migration
.Use synonyms
Submitted by reanudeepan on
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task achievement
Your essay attempts to discuss both views and gives a conclusion, which aligns with the prompt's requirements. However, the task response is somewhat limited because the examples provided are not fully developed or detailed. To achieve a higher score, ensure each paragraph effectively elaborates on the point being made with clear and specific examples that strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is evident, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use a range of cohesive devices to aid the flow from one idea to another. Each paragraph should have one clear main idea with supporting sentences that are relevant and well-connected to the main topic.