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Band 5.5

the pie graphs below show the result of a survey of the children's activities. the first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities that girls participate.

the pie graphs below show the result of a survey of the children's activities. the first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities that girls participate.
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The bar graph illustrates data regarding the survey of a fraction of
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 engaged in culture and leisure activities.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that most
boys
Use synonyms
(34%) opted to play video games as their leisure activity, which is double that of
boys
Use synonyms
 who engaged in soccer.
Whereas
Linking Words
, most
girls
Use synonyms
 chose dancing as their leisure activity. Contrary to that, the least amount of
girls
Use synonyms
 showed any interest in listening to music, and
boys
Use synonyms
 did not prefer to read, which was only 2% of the reading fraction.
However
Linking Words
, 21% of a significant amount of
girls
Use synonyms
 show
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
 in reading. It is interesting to notice that both 10% of
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 participated in to listening music. 11% of
girls
Use synonyms
 engaged in gymnastics,
similarly
Linking Words
, 11% of
boys
Use synonyms
 took part in skateboarding. 26% of
boys
Use synonyms
 engaged in playing basketball, and 27% of
girls
Use synonyms
 enjoyed dancing. Meanwhile,
girls
Use synonyms
 who enjoyed netball were 1 % under
girls
Use synonyms
 engaged in playing computer games, which were 15% and 16% respectively.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • cultural activities
  • leisure activities
  • participate
  • percentage
  • gender difference
  • similar participation rates
  • traditional gender roles
  • trends
  • impact
  • parental influence
  • extracurricular activities
  • accessible
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