Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that these days
children
love to playing
Change the verb
play
computer
games
and outdoor activities
becoming very popular worldwide. However
, the question remains, is what develops children
more outdoor
Change preposition
in outdoor
activities
or playing computer
games
? Is considered one
of the most controversial problems today. This
essay will examine both sides of this
issue and will draw my personal conclusion.
On one
hand of the argument, there are people who believe that the benefits considerably outweigh the disadvantages. One
of the main reasons for their support of this
claim is that playing outside can develop children
's health. In fact, body and mind health can be more useful when children
do some activities
outside. A study published by New York University in 2016 concluded that around 80% of children
who play outdoors have healthy bodies and feel happier than other children
. Moreover
, it is also
possible to say that playing outside makes children
more social . To one
illustrate Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
, my little brother spends his free time playing football. He always learns new things and prefers to eat good food but, my cousin heat going outside he just plays computer
games
that impact her eyes and she suffers from obesty
. Correct your spelling
obesity
Thus
, that’s why some people think that outdoor activities
are more beneficial for children
.
On the other hand
, it is also
possible to consider it with the opposing case. It is often argued that computer
games
make children
think deeply and learn quickly.
In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both viewpoints, I believe that outdoor activities
are more helpful than playing indoors for children
's development.Submitted by taqwaalsakiti on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that your ideas are organized in a clear, logical manner. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic which is developed throughout the paragraph. Transition words can help improve the connection between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Always present an introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and sometimes your thesis or main idea. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position clearly.
Task Achievement
Provide clear, developed arguments to support your position. Use specific examples and explanations to bolster your main points and ensure that each paragraph ties back to the main question.
Task Achievement
Make sure your response completely answers all parts of the question. Clearly state your position and fully extend your ideas, ensuring that you provide comprehensive information on the topic.
Task Achievement
Make sure to stick to relevant examples that clearly support your viewpoint. Vague or unrelated examples can distract from the core argument and reduce the clarity of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.