Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #activities #children’s #development #computer #games

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There is no doubt that these days

children

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love to

playing

Change the verb

play

show examples

computer

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games

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and outdoor

activities

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becoming very popular worldwide.

However

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, the question remains, is what develops

children

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outdoor

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in outdoor

show examples

activities

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or playing

computer

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games

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? Is considered

one

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of the most controversial problems today.

This

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essay will examine both sides of

this

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issue and will draw my personal conclusion. On

one

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hand of the argument, there are people who believe that the benefits considerably outweigh the disadvantages.

One

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of the main reasons for their support of

this

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claim is that playing outside can develop

children

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's health. In fact, body and mind health can be more useful when

children

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do some

activities

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outside. A study published by New York University in 2016 concluded that around 80% of

children

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who play outdoors have healthy bodies and feel happier than other

children

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Moreover

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, it is

also

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possible to say that playing outside makes

children

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more social . To

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one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

illustrate

this

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, my little brother spends his free time playing football. He always learns new things and prefers to eat good food but, my cousin heat going outside he just plays

computer

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games

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that impact her eyes and she suffers from

obesty

Correct your spelling

obesity

Thus

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, that’s why some people think that outdoor

activities

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are more beneficial for

children

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On the other hand

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, it is

also

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possible to consider it with the opposing case. It is often argued that

computer

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games

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make

children

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think deeply and learn quickly. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both viewpoints, I believe that outdoor

activities

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are more helpful than playing indoors for

children

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's development.

Submitted by taqwaalsakiti on Tue Dec 12 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure that your ideas are organized in a clear, logical manner. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic which is developed throughout the paragraph. Transition words can help improve the connection between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Always present an introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and sometimes your thesis or main idea. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position clearly.

Task Achievement

Provide clear, developed arguments to support your position. Use specific examples and explanations to bolster your main points and ensure that each paragraph ties back to the main question.

Task Achievement

Make sure your response completely answers all parts of the question. Clearly state your position and fully extend your ideas, ensuring that you provide comprehensive information on the topic.

Task Achievement

Make sure to stick to relevant examples that clearly support your viewpoint. Vague or unrelated examples can distract from the core argument and reduce the clarity of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical development
Overall health
Coordination
Foster
Social skills
Teamwork
Mental well-being
Creativity
Exploration
Strategic thinking
Problem-solving
Hand-eye coordination
Sedentary lifestyles
Social isolation
Moderation
Balanced approach
Detract
Obesity
Poor posture

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Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students. Nowadays, new technology is increasingly used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their lives. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?