Art is considered an essential part of all cutures throughout the world.However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate it and turn their focus the science technology and business. why do you think this is ? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts.
Art
gives meaning to our lives and help
to understand the world.It is commonly believed that Change the verb form
helps
art
plays fundamental
role in Add an article
a fundamental
soceity
as artists are able to express their thoughts and their culture in their work. Some argue that Correct your spelling
society
people
should focus on their acadamic
subjects and others Correct your spelling
academic
believed
that students should concentrate on Wrong verb form
believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
art
. In my opinion, children
should definitely learn art
if someone teach
Change the verb form
teaches
the
Correct your spelling
them
art
. It will beneficial
for their Add a missing verb
be beneficial
children
.
On the one hand, art
is a precious gift which is given by God to human
. Some Fix the agreement mistake
humans
group
of Fix the agreement mistake
groups
people
think that art
should be Correct article usage
a mandantory
mandantory
subject in the Correct your spelling
mandatory
eductaion
system. Correct your spelling
education
Children
can learns
many things which is good for them. Change the verb form
learn
Moreover
, if juvenile
should focus on Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
art
then
they can build their confidence and connect with more people
. Art
is to help promote creativity and imagination..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
For instance
, some of
Change preposition
apply
children
do not have the linguistic capabilities to put their ideas into language and thus
communicate directly. So they can express their feelings through the art
.
On the other hand
, people
need money for living
a standard of life, so they are adding their interest Change preposition
to live
for
technology. Change preposition
in
Additionally
, if they are getting good job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
then
it becomes life easier and healthy
a Correct word choice
apply
way
of life. At the Correct word choice
healthier way
last
, technology science and business is the highest paid
job in the world. Add a hyphen
highest-paid
That is
the reason people
moving their interest into science.
In conclusion, I believe that people
earn more if they make a career in the
science technology and business. These jobs are Correct article usage
apply
highest
paid throughout the world. Correct article usage
the highest
People
always preferred the huge salary for feeding the family.But if government
should focus on Add an article
the government
the
Correct article usage
apply
art
then
might be
Verb problem
apply
people
should
be attracted Verb problem
might
towads
the arts.Correct your spelling
to
Submitted by gurpreetk443 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Be sure to address all parts of the task within your essay. While you discussed the role of art and the inclination towards science and technology, you only briefly touched upon ways to encourage interest in the arts, which was part of the task. Expand on this to fully meet the requirements.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear overall progression by organizing your ideas and arguments in a logical way. Transition sentences between paragraphs would also enhance the flow of information and improve the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your main points. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates a higher level of understanding of the topic. Avoid hypotheticals and strive for concrete examples that are directly related to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Revisit basic grammar structures and aim for accuracy in your sentences. Work on reducing repetitive structures and improving the variety of your sentence constructions.