Art is considered an essential part of all cutures throughout the world.However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate it and turn their focus the science technology and business. why do you think this is ? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts.

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Art
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gives meaning to our lives and
help
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helps

The plural verb help does not appear to agree with the singular subject Art. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to understand the world.It is commonly believed that
art
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plays
fundamental
Add an article
a fundamental

The noun phrase fundamental role seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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role in
soceity
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society

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as artists are able to express their thoughts and their culture in their work. Some argue that
people
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should focus on their
acadamic
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academic

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subjects and others
believed
Wrong verb form
believe

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb believed. Consider changing it.

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that students should concentrate on
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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art
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. In my opinion,
children
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should definitely learn
art
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if someone
teach
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teaches

It appears that the indefinite pronoun someone does not agree with the verb teach in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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the
Correct your spelling
them

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. It will
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial

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for their
children
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. On the one hand,
art
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is a precious gift which is given by God to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans

It seems that human may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Some
group
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groups

It seems that group may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
people
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think that
art
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should be
Correct article usage
a mandantory
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mandantory
Correct your spelling
mandatory

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subject in the
eductaion
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education

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system.
Children
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can
learns
Change the verb form
learn

The verb learns after the modal verb can does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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many things which is good for them.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles

It seems that juvenile may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should focus on
art
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then
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they can build their confidence and connect with more
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Art
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is to help promote creativity and imagination
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...

This sentence ends with a double period. Consider changing the punctuation.

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For instance
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, some
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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children
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do not have the linguistic capabilities to put their ideas into language and
thus
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communicate directly. So they can express their feelings through the
art
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.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need money
for living
Change preposition
to live

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a standard of life, so they are adding their interest
for
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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technology.
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if they are getting good
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it becomes life easier and
healthy
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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a
way
Correct word choice
healthier way

There may be an adjective issue here.

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of life. At the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, technology science and business is the
highest paid
Add a hyphen
highest-paid

It seems that highest paid is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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job in the world.
That is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the reason
people
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moving their interest into science. In conclusion, I believe that
people
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earn more if they make a career in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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science technology and business. These jobs are
highest
Correct article usage
the highest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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paid throughout the world.
People
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

always preferred the huge salary for feeding the family.But if
government
Add an article
the government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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should focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

might be
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should
Verb problem
might

There may be a verb use issue here.

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be attracted
towads
Correct your spelling
to

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the arts.

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task achievement
Be sure to address all parts of the task within your essay. While you discussed the role of art and the inclination towards science and technology, you only briefly touched upon ways to encourage interest in the arts, which was part of the task. Expand on this to fully meet the requirements.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear overall progression by organizing your ideas and arguments in a logical way. Transition sentences between paragraphs would also enhance the flow of information and improve the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your main points. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates a higher level of understanding of the topic. Avoid hypotheticals and strive for concrete examples that are directly related to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Revisit basic grammar structures and aim for accuracy in your sentences. Work on reducing repetitive structures and improving the variety of your sentence constructions.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artistic appreciation
  • Practical skills
  • STEM subjects (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Job market
  • Viable career paths
  • Technological advancements
  • Public education
  • Cultural significance
  • Funding for the arts
  • Local art scenes
  • Interactive installations
  • Innovation
  • Corporate culture
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