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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia.

The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia.
#information #two #genres #tv #programmes #men #women #four #age #groups #australia
The bar charts illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
two genres of
TV
 programmes
such
 as
game
 shows and
relaity
Correct your spelling
reality
 shows watched by male and female in four categories of the
age
 group people in Australia.
Overall
,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest rate of
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality
 shows on
TV
whereas
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 watched more hours of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
game
 shies.
According to
 the bar chart shows that women was the highest watching hours of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality
 shows
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than men which was 70% and around 38% respectively.
In contrast
, there is a slight difference between men and women
watched
Correct pronoun usage
who watched
show examples
game
 shows on
TV
 which was 60% and around 61%.
In addition
, above 45
age
 people were the highest watched of both the
TV
 shows as compared to other
age
 groups which was almost 70%.
Age
Add an article
The age
show examples
 group of 16-24 folks had
watch
Wrong verb form
watched
show examples
 equally which was around 50 per cent. Between
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
 to 34
age
 group
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
watched more
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reality
 shows than
game
 shows which was 60 and 40 per cent respectively.
Similarly
, 35-44
age
 people watched more
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality
 shows than
game
 shows which was 70% and 50% respectively.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, game, age, reality with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 11 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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