IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#rain #water #australian #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given diagram illustrates how an Australian town
collect
Change the verb form
collects
show examples
rain
Correct your spelling
rainwater
show examples
water
 and
treat
Correct subject-verb agreement
treats
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 be used. Looking from the
overall
 perspective, it is apparent that
this
 operation has 6 steps. Beginning with
collect
Wrong verb form
collecting
show examples
water
 from
drain
Correct article usage
the drain
show examples
ending
Correct word choice
and ending
show examples
 with
deliver
Change the verb form
delivering
show examples
 treated
water
 to use. In the first step,
water
 from
rains
Fix the agreement mistake
rain
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 gathered by drains, which are located on
Correct article usage
the houses
show examples
houses
Change noun form
house's
show examples
 roof.
Then
, the
water
following
Wrong verb form
follows
show examples
 the underground drain system to
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 filter, where
water
 is clarified before it is delivered to the storage. In the storage,
water
 is continued to go to the place called
water
 treatment.
Thereafter
,
water
 is treated
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 by a machine, which
is used
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 appropriate chemicals to
converted
Change the form of the verb
convert
show examples
 dirty
water
 into clean
water
 that can be used to drink.
As a result
, clean
water
 is transported into the local houses and
serve
Correct subject-verb agreement
serves
show examples
 their demands.
Submitted by damquan2006 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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