More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

#people #drinks #drink

It is true that having sugar-based

drinks

is a rising trend nowadays.

This

can be attributed to various factors, which

calls

Correct subject-verb agreement

call

show examples

for possible solutions to be adopted. There are some explanations as to why the

consumption

of sugar-based

drinks

is rising these

day

Fix the agreement mistake

days

show examples

(s). One possibility is that sugar-based

drinks

Change the verb form

are

show examples

is advertise

Change the verb form

is advertised

is advertising

show examples

(d) on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

various media.

This

can allow company companies to approach the consumers.

As a result

, consumers will buy more

drinks

from these companys companies, which lead to rise of

consumption

a rise in the

consumption

of sugar-based

drinks

this

time. [Improve TA] Another point worth mentioning is that the price of sugar-based

drinks

is cheap

Change preposition

apply

show examples

in some countries of the world.

For example

, in Viet Nam Vietnam, many types of sugar-based

drinks

Coca-cola

Correct your spelling

Coca-Cola

show examples

, Pepsi,

Sting

Correct word choice

and Sting

show examples

, including

Coca Cola

Add a hyphen

Coca-Cola

show examples

and Pepsi, just have a price of approximately 0,5

dollar

Fix the agreement mistake

dollars

show examples

. So cheap

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the sugar-based

drinks

that everybody can buy and drink

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

simply

Change the word

simple

show examples

way

Rephrase

apply

show examples

This

can lead to having//consuming sugar-based

drinks

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increasing these day(s). [Comment idea 2] Various measures,

nevertheless

, can be implemented to address these issues. The first possible solution is that each person should raise their awareness of the adverse

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

(s) of drinking sugar-based

drinks

. They should get knowledge about some disease(s) like ,

such

as diabetes, and obesity, which are the adverse consequences of consuming much sugar-based

drinks

. [Comment idea 1]The second approach is that the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

government should implement a policy on sugary products

call

Wrong verb form

called

show examples

(

Correct article usage

the ed

show examples

)

sugar-tax

Correct your spelling

sugar tax

show examples

This

can lead to a decrease in the number of person people who

consumption

consume sugar-based

drinks

because of

increasing

Replace the word

an increase

show examples

in sugar-based

drinks

price(s). [Comment idea 2]

While

many reasons can be given to explain why an increasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

number of person people consume sugar-based

drinks

, steps can be taken to improve the situation.

Submitted by phuochong2005 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

Include a clear introductory statement and a distinct conclusion to better frame your discussion and leave a strong impression on the reader.

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points with more extensive and varied support. For example, use more detailed examples, cite sources, or include statistics where appropriate.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Make sure to discuss both causes and solutions thoroughly to provide a complete response.

task achievement

Express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Focus on forming coherent arguments and expanding on ideas to make them fully understandable.

task achievement

Provide relevant and specific examples to support your points. Use real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your claims and make them more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In spite of many advances women have made in education and employment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. In your view, what should be done to promote equality of opportunity for men and women in the workplace?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.