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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#employees #work #home #technology #change #benefit #workers #employers
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The evolution of modern technology has ushered in a transformative era, allowing a growing number of
employees
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their professional responsibilities remotely.
While
this
 shift is celebrated for providing workers with flexibility and autonomy, pervasive belief questions whether
this
 change predominantly favours
employees
, leaving
employers
 with limited benefits. In examining
this
 assertion, I find myself in partial disagreement, as the advantages of remote
work
 extend to both
employees
 and
employers
. On the one hand, the advantages for
employees
 are evident. The ability to
work
 from home affords individuals greater control over their schedules, eliminating the daily commute and enabling a healthier
work
-life balance.
This
 newfound flexibility contributes to increased job satisfaction and improved
overall
 well-being.
Furthermore
, the reduction in commuting expenses and the ability to create a personalized
work
 environment enhance
employees
' financial and mental welfare.
However
, it is essential to recognize that
employers
, too, stand to gain significantly from the widespread adoption of remote
work
 practices. One notable advantage is the potential for cost savings associated with reduced office space requirements. The shift towards remote
work
 allows companies to minimize expenditures related to office rent, utilities, and maintenance.
Additionally
, the use of advanced communication technologies facilitates seamless collaboration among geographically dispersed teams, fostering innovation and improving
overall
 operational efficiency.
Moreover
, remote
work
 opens avenues for
employers
 to tap into a broader talent pool, breaking down geographical barriers.
This
 diversification of human resources can lead to increased creativity and problem-solving within organizations. Employee satisfaction and retention rates are
also
 positively influenced, contributing to a positive company culture and enhanced productivity. In conclusion,
while
 remote
work
 undeniably provides numerous benefits for
employees
, it is essential to recognize that
employers
, too, experience substantial advantages. The cost-saving opportunities, access to a diverse talent pool, and improved employee satisfaction collectively make remote
work
 a mutually beneficial paradigm shift for both workers and organizations.
Submitted by capcap05052019 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, to improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with the use of more effective transitional phrases.
task achievement
While your response covers the implications for both employees and employers, be sure to integrate more specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples can help in substantiating your argument and demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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