In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts, while boys like science. what are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed?
There is many reason
about
Change preposition
for
the
choosing the Correct article usage
apply
subject
in schools and universities. But mostly girls move towards the arts and boys
comunity
will move to the science fields. there are many Correct your spelling
community
reason
for Change to a plural noun
reasons
this
. In next
Correct article usage
the next
paragraphs
I will give many reasons.
First of all, the girls Add a comma
paragraphs,
have
not Add a missing verb
do have
capacity
Correct article usage
the capacity
of
Change preposition
apply
time
to spend in study they do their works
at Fix the agreement mistake
work
home
and they wants
to invest their Change the verb form
want
time
to
our Change preposition
in
childern
that's Correct your spelling
children
way
they can't choose Correct your spelling
why
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
the difficult
subject
. Otherside, boys
have lot
of Change the article
a lot
time
because they spend their time
out side
the house with friends and some professional persons Correct your spelling
outside
also
incourage
and take part in science Correct your spelling
encourage
subject
.
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
Furthermore
, women not
go out Change the verb form
do not
did not
from
the Change preposition
of
home
they not
join Change the verb form
do not
did not
in
Change preposition
apply
gathering
of professional field people they have not wide range of knowledge about fields just see Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
the
Correct article usage
apply
home
life only according to
female life is
Unnecessary verb
apply
consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
at
Change preposition
of
home
fashion or decoration then
they join art
field. But Correct article usage
the art
boys
have creative
there are many Replace the word
creativity
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
behiened
and Correct your spelling
why
desired
to do some Wrong verb form
desire
create
and calculative work Replace the word
creative
that's
they join these Verb problem
why
subject
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
Correct article usage
a numbers
numbers
of Fix the agreement mistake
number
female
decide Fix the agreement mistake
females
arts
and Change preposition
on arts
boys
to
do some different that's Fix the infinitive
apply
way
Correct your spelling
why
boys
select science. Woment
Correct your spelling
Women
have
not Add a missing verb
do have
to gather
in professionals and have no idea about the field but males have Change the verb form
gathered
kownledged
. Women Correct your spelling
knowledge
have
not Add a missing verb
do have
time
from
Change preposition
apply
Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
house work
and Correct your spelling
housework
boys
have it.Submitted by arslanvu8675 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic approach to the topic, but significant issues with coherence and cohesion are apparent. Work on establishing a clearer logical structure within your paragraphs and throughout the essay. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and progresses logically from one to the next. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
The response partly tackles the task, but the ideas need to be expressed more coherently and comprehensively. Develop each point with clear, relevant examples, and support your arguments with appropriate evidence. Make sure you address all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion before reaching a reasoned conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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