Many people believe that playing games and watching TV programs is beneficial but others say it doesn't improve the mental ability of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children are the backbone of every nation. Many claim that playing
games
and watching TV
series
bring enormous
benefits
to children
whereas
others say that it cannot develop the mental ability of toddlers. I partially agree with
this
statement and
this
essay shall discuss it briefly in the following reasons.
To begin
with, playing
games
and watching television programs are provided more knowledge based on content. When kids play
games
while
Correct word choice
apply
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they can get
the
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apply
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cretaive
Correct your spelling
creative
and innovative ideas and
this
will help
for
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apply
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their thinking process
by
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apply
show examples
creatively.
For example
, an online chess game can increase
thinking
Correct article usage
the thinking
show examples
process
differntly
Correct your spelling
differently
and immediately
along with
the opponent how to think and how to attack,
this
can lead to
get
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getting
show examples
more skills and talents. Toddlers are able to obtain many good qualities from watching TV programs.
Therefore
, these can give more
benefits
.
In contrast
, watching
series
and playing
games
do not improve the
children
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children's
show examples
mental
development
because
this
is only
an
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apply
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entertainment and it does not provide any cognitive improvement.
For instance
, education based on programmes can
rise
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raise
show examples
the kid's mental
development
instead
of
the
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apply
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entertainment
such
as science
exhibition
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exhibitions
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and quiz
competitation
Correct your spelling
competition
competitions
. If a kid
watching
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watches
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series
Correct article usage
a series
show examples
on TV, he only enjoys
about
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apply
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the movie or
series
rather than he does not think about his knowledge
development
.
To conclude
, the infants watch
series
and play
games
can provide more
benefits
such
as creative ideas and innovative thinking.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
show examples
, it does not improve the
infants
Change to a genitive case
infant's
infants'
show examples
mental improvement like cognitive
development
.
Therefore
, I partially agree with
this
statement. I hope
this
drives more
benefits
to kids.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are logically organized throughout the essay. Your paragraphs seem to lack clear topic sentences.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarizes the essay's main points and restates your position. While you have a conclusion, it is not fully developed.
task achievement
Back up your points with specific examples. Present examples that are directly relevant to your arguments to strengthen them.
task achievement
Focus on fully answering the question. Address all parts of the task, and make sure your position is clear and consistent throughout the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • strategy games
  • educational content
  • reinforce learning
  • excessive screen time
  • mental health
  • attention deficit disorders
  • social isolation
  • foster healthy development
  • interactivity
  • retention of information
  • active participation
  • virtual context
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