Many people believe that playing games and watching TV programs is beneficial but others say it doesn't improve the mental ability of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #games #tv #programs #doesn #ability #children

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Children are the backbone of every nation. Many claim that playing

games

Use synonyms

and watching TV

series

Use synonyms

bring enormous

benefits

Use synonyms

to children

whereas

Linking Words

others say that it cannot develop the mental ability of toddlers. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and

this

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essay shall discuss it briefly in the following reasons.

To begin

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with, playing

games

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and watching television programs are provided more knowledge based on content. When kids play

games

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Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they can get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cretaive

Correct your spelling

creative

and innovative ideas and

this

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will help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their thinking process

Change preposition

apply

show examples

creatively.

For example

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, an online chess game can increase

thinking

Correct article usage

the thinking

show examples

process

differntly

Correct your spelling

differently

and immediately

along with

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the opponent how to think and how to attack,

this

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can lead to

get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

more skills and talents. Toddlers are able to obtain many good qualities from watching TV programs.

Therefore

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, these can give more

benefits

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In contrast

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, watching

series

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and playing

games

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do not improve the

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mental

development

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because

this

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is only

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment and it does not provide any cognitive improvement.

For instance

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, education based on programmes can

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the kid's mental

development

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instead

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment

such

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as science

exhibition

Fix the agreement mistake

exhibitions

show examples

and quiz

competitation

Correct your spelling

competition

competitions

. If a kid

watching

Wrong verb form

watches

show examples

Use synonyms

series

Correct article usage

a series

show examples

on TV, he only enjoys

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the movie or

series

Use synonyms

rather than he does not think about his knowledge

development

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To conclude

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, the infants watch

series

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and play

games

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can provide more

benefits

Use synonyms

such

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as creative ideas and innovative thinking.

Despite

Correct pronoun usage

Despite this

show examples

, it does not improve the

infants

Change to a genitive case

infant's

infants'

show examples

mental improvement like cognitive

development

Use synonyms

Therefore

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, I partially agree with

this

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statement. I hope

this

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drives more

benefits

Use synonyms

to kids.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are logically organized throughout the essay. Your paragraphs seem to lack clear topic sentences.

coherence cohesion

Include a conclusion that summarizes the essay's main points and restates your position. While you have a conclusion, it is not fully developed.

task achievement

Back up your points with specific examples. Present examples that are directly relevant to your arguments to strengthen them.

task achievement

Focus on fully answering the question. Address all parts of the task, and make sure your position is clear and consistent throughout the essay.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive skills
problem-solving
critical thinking
strategy games
educational content
reinforce learning
excessive screen time
mental health
attention deficit disorders
social isolation
foster healthy development
interactivity
retention of information
active participation
virtual context

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Many people believe that playing games and watching TV programs is beneficial but others say it doesn't improve the mental ability of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the quality of life in large cities is becoming worse/ What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could be taken to solve it?

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Nowadays people are trying to have a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems could this create? How can people overcome them?

Scientists and tourists can travel to the remote natural environment such as the south pole. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

In some countries, governments are encouraging to people and factories move out in rural areas due to housing and transport issues. Discuss both views and give your personal example.