Many people believe that playing games and watching TV programs is beneficial but others say it doesn't improve the mental ability of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #games #tv #programs #doesn #ability #children

Children are the backbone of every nation. Many claim that playing

games

and watching TV

series

bring enormous

benefits

to children

whereas

others say that it cannot develop the mental ability of toddlers. I partially agree with

this

statement and

this

essay shall discuss it briefly in the following reasons.

To begin

with, playing

games

and watching television programs are provided more knowledge based on content. When kids play

games

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they can get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cretaive

Correct your spelling

creative

and innovative ideas and

this

will help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their thinking process

Change preposition

apply

show examples

creatively.

For example

, an online chess game can increase

thinking

Correct article usage

the thinking

show examples

process

differntly

Correct your spelling

differently

and immediately

along with

the opponent how to think and how to attack,

this

can lead to

get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

more skills and talents. Toddlers are able to obtain many good qualities from watching TV programs.

Therefore

, these can give more

benefits

In contrast

, watching

series

and playing

games

do not improve the

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mental

development

because

this

is only

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment and it does not provide any cognitive improvement.

For instance

, education based on programmes can

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the kid's mental

development

instead

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment

such

as science

exhibition

Fix the agreement mistake

exhibitions

show examples

and quiz

competitation

Correct your spelling

competition

competitions

. If a kid

watching

Wrong verb form

watches

show examples

series

Correct article usage

a series

show examples

on TV, he only enjoys

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the movie or

series

rather than he does not think about his knowledge

development

To conclude

, the infants watch

series

and play

games

can provide more

benefits

such

as creative ideas and innovative thinking.

Despite

Correct pronoun usage

Despite this

show examples

, it does not improve the

infants

Change to a genitive case

infant's

infants'

show examples

mental improvement like cognitive

development

Therefore

, I partially agree with

this

statement. I hope

this

drives more

benefits

to kids.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are logically organized throughout the essay. Your paragraphs seem to lack clear topic sentences.

coherence cohesion

Include a conclusion that summarizes the essay's main points and restates your position. While you have a conclusion, it is not fully developed.

task achievement

Back up your points with specific examples. Present examples that are directly relevant to your arguments to strengthen them.

task achievement

Focus on fully answering the question. Address all parts of the task, and make sure your position is clear and consistent throughout the essay.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive skills
problem-solving
critical thinking
strategy games
educational content
reinforce learning
excessive screen time
mental health
attention deficit disorders
social isolation
foster healthy development
interactivity
retention of information
active participation
virtual context

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Many people believe that playing games and watching TV programs is beneficial but others say it doesn't improve the mental ability of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Why do some people decide to work after school? Give reasons and solutions for this trend?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.

Some people say that the amount of noise that people make should be strictly controlled. Others say that people should be free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.