The graph below shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012

The graph below shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012
The chart shows the number of
boys
and girls playing
sport
in an English town in 2012. Which
divided
Add a missing verb
is divided
show examples
into six categories
such
as tennis, badminton, cycling, swimming, football, and hockey. After
overall
analysis, the percentage of
boys
playing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
mainly
Add a missing verb
was mainly
show examples
higher except for swimming and badminton.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
swimming is the most popular
sport
among the girls followed by badminton
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place and tennis
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third where it's nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. The most
desireable
Correct your spelling
desirable
sport
for
boys
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
football, followed by tennis
while
hockey has the least
enthusiast
Correct your spelling
enthusiasm
show examples
neither
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
boys
and girls.
Submitted by bulanhasyim on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, sport with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: