Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

According to
some University pupils who show interest
to learn
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in learning
show examples
additional
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
apart from
major
Add an article
the major
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
. Others argue
that is
more
relaible
Correct your spelling
reliable
to devote all their time and focus to studying
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
become a good
job
houlder
Correct your spelling
shoulder
holder
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that additional study is more
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for every
student
because a
student
can gain knowledge about other parts
as well as
they can get lots of other opportunities in the
job
market. It is widely acknowledged that by learning about other subjects they can gain lots of experience about
unknown
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the unknown
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sector.
For
Example
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Example,
show examples
if an engineer
learn
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learns
show examples
Sociology he can gain knowledge about our
socity
Correct your spelling
society
as well as
he can think about our social problem.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
by learning additional
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
subject
Add a comma
subject,
show examples
they can get huge
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
to get a good
job
.For
exam
Correct your spelling
example
show examples
if an Engineer
Add a missing verb
is learng
show examples
learng
Correct your spelling
learning
learn
journalism he
also
to
Add a missing verb
has to
show examples
be a good reporter as he can become a unique person.
That is
why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
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part is very crucial to
get
Verb problem
achieving
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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success. On the
other
Add a comma
other,
show examples
it has some downsides
also
.Additional studying of
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
show examples
may
be killed
Wrong verb form
kill
show examples
his valuable time to
destract
Correct your spelling
distract
detract
from his main goal.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
an Engineering
student
his main
focusing point
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
is engineering topic but if he lots of time
spend for
Verb problem
on
show examples
journalism he clearly can
destrac
Correct your spelling
distract
detract
from his goal.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that if a
student
Add a verb
student is
student was
show examples
aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
his main focus it will be not a major problem. In conclusion, By learning another
subject
pupils can get huge opportunity to obtain
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various types of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
as well as
make
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unique
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.It
wil
Correct your spelling
will
very
Add a missing verb
be very
show examples
helpful for his bright future.
Submitted by nishatkarsunny on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay more effectively with a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis, followed by body paragraphs each addressing a specific point of view, and a well-defined conclusion that summarizes your position.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly, enhancing the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. Avoid overly general statements and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by evidence or analysis.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the task by discussing both views presented in the prompt. Provide a balanced consideration of each side to fully meet the task requirements.
task achievement
Articulate ideas clearly and comprehensively. Aim for clarity in the presentation of your perspective and avoid ambiguity in your arguments.
task achievement
Incorporate specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points better. These examples can come from real-world situations, studies, or hypothetical scenarios that directly relate to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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