IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The line graph compares the average number of people in the UK traveling daily by car, bus and train over a period of 60 years.

The line graph compares the average number of people in the UK traveling daily by car, bus and train over a period of 60 years.
#line #people #uk #car #bus #train #period #years
The picture illustrates
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
people
 in the UK using
car
, bus, and train for daily activity within 60 years.
Overall
,
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
users
 with a significant
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
. In 1970, there were just under 6
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
people
used
Wrong verb form
who were using
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and it increased that added around 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
 in 2000.
Moreover
, it significantly rose
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 30 years and it will
reached
Change the verb form
reach
show examples
 a peak at 9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2030.
On the other hand
, the
users
Change to a genitive case
user's
users'
show examples
 transportation
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 bus gradually decreased which
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 from approximately 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
.
At the end
 of the line graph, it will reach the lowest number of
users
 among the three transportation in 2030 which
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
show examples
 at 3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
.
Last
 but not least, around 2
millions human
Fix the agreement mistake
million humans
show examples
 used
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 to move from side to side of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 in Britain. Just like
car
Add an article
a car
show examples
, train
users
 went up and reached 3
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
people
 in 2000 but it was stagnant over 10 years.
Then
 increased for more than 1
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
 in 2030.
Submitted by joyapakpahan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, car, users, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: