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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph compares the average number of people in the UK traveling daily by car, bus and train over a period of 60 years.

The line graph compares the average number of people in the UK traveling daily by car, bus and train over a period of 60 years.
#line #people #uk #car #bus #train #period #years
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The picture illustrates
amount
Add an article
the amount
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 in the UK using
car
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, bus, and train for daily activity within 60 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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was
Verb problem
had
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 the highest
users
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 with a significant
increased
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increase
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. In 1970, there were just under 6
billions
Change to singular
billion
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people
Use synonyms
used
Wrong verb form
who were using
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Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 and it increased that added around 2
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millions
Change to singular
million
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people
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it significantly rose
among
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in
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 30 years and it will
reached
Change the verb form
reach
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 a peak at 9
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2030.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
users
Change to a genitive case
user's
users'
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 transportation
of
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by
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 bus gradually decreased which
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 from approximately 4
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millions
Change to singular
million
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people
Use synonyms
.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the line graph, it will reach the lowest number of
users
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 among the three transportation in 2030 which
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
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 at 3
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millions
Change to singular
million
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people
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.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, around 2
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millions human
Fix the agreement mistake
million humans
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 used
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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 to move from side to side of
country
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the country
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 in Britain. Just like
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car
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a car
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, train
users
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 went up and reached 3
billions
Change to singular
billion
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people
Use synonyms
 in 2000 but it was stagnant over 10 years.
Then
Linking Words
 increased for more than 1
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in 2030.
Submitted by joyapakpahan on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, car, users, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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