Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? Economy is depends upon the dwellers because every nations have their own strengths of youngsters. According to my prespective government of poorer nations to look after their citizens. I accord with the latter notion discord.
#nations #wealth #food #education #responsibility #government #citizens #economy #dwellers #strengths #youngsters #prespective #accord #latter #notion #discord
To initiate with the most prominent benefit is that youngsters are government has Poorer
pillers
of every country Correct your spelling
pillars
have
their own talent. Correct word choice
and have
Moreover
, government
need to Add an article
the government
work
in
education, infrastructure, and law that Change preposition
on
makes
more upgrades in Wrong verb form
make
country
. Correct article usage
the country
Due to
this
people's lives more
comfortable and creating opportunities for students. Add a missing verb
are more
Such
as, Dubai
was no source of water and farming 1887
but now Change preposition
in 1887
Dubai
has own
willpower because of authority Correct pronoun usage
its own
changes
rules and regulations. Authority Replace the word
changed
starts
Wrong verb form
started
investment
their own lands and Replace the word
investing
build
many opportunities Wrong verb form
building
of
citizens and Change preposition
for
also
constructed the
modern building and clouds formation which helps to produce rainfall in Correct article usage
apply
dubai
Change the capitalization
Dubai
further
with the help of petrol dubai
has Change the capitalization
Dubai
sell
and Wrong verb form
sold
generate
more profits Wrong verb form
generated
in addition
again it has invest
Change the verb form
invested
to
their own country and form globally talent come and Change preposition
apply
work
in dubai
so that Change the capitalization
Dubai
dubai
become more independent.
Substantiating Change the capitalization
Dubai
further
, Poorer nations
have lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
law
and supply Fix the agreement mistake
laws
chain
. Fix the agreement mistake
chains
Apart from
this
,Add an article
the
work
on Change the verb form
worked
the
giving subsitiy, business investment, Education, Correct article usage
apply
job
opportunities Correct word choice
and job
for
Change preposition
so
that
economy will grow and income will Correct determiner usage
the
be increase
as well. Change the verb form
increase
Moreover
if poorer Add a comma
Moreover,
nations
import food
from developed nations
then
food
quality and ingredients don't know what chemicals was
used to make Change the verb form
were
food
.
Such
as,Change preposition
in
nations
if food
make
Wrong verb form
is made
themselves
Change preposition
by themselves
then
they know what ingredients are included so it is better for consuming
by dwellers.
Replace the word
consumption
To conclude
, Although
depending on other countries it's not work
in long
term. If poorer Correct article usage
the long
nations
are
import Unnecessary verb
apply
food
and medicines that
is make
more debts Verb problem
creates
on
Change preposition
for
poores
Correct your spelling
poor
nation
. So, Fix the agreement mistake
nations
independent
is Replace the word
independence
cardinal
role in every Add an article
a cardinal
the cardinal
nations
.Change to a singular noun
nation
Submitted by prit699731 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve, ensure that your essay begins with a clear thesis statement that outlines the two views given in the task and ends with a summarising conclusion that restates your position.
logical structure
Your essay's structure requires improvement. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are arranged logically throughout the essay. Use transition words to help the reader follow the argument.
supported main points
Support your main points with relevant and detailed examples. Develop the paragraphs further by explaining how the examples relate to the topic and the argument you are making.
complete response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument presented and giving your own opinion. Be sure to cover all aspects of the prompt in your response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive to present your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid vague statements and ensure each paragraph contributes to your overall argument or response to the question.
relevant specific examples
Use specific, relevant examples to support your arguments. These examples should clearly relate to the topic and provide evidence for the points you are making.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.