Some people today believe that the world's increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world's economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is how is
world
's increase
in population
important. It is undeniable that in
all problems have two sides: pros and cons, and it has become an essential part of our life. Change preposition
apply
However
there is no absolute agreement on whether increasing of Add a comma
However,
populatin
should be beneficial or not useful for our Correct your spelling
population
world
.
A commonly held belief is that the world
's increase
in population
is unsustainable. As the
evidence of Correct article usage
apply
this
they point to in
China, Change preposition
apply
there
are many Rephrase
where there
people
, about 2 billion. So, from
an overabundance of Change preposition
of
people
, there are not enough place
to live and houses are built Fix the agreement mistake
places
top
Change preposition
on top
each
other as layers, Change preposition
of each
also
, as a
housecrapers. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, there are
a law that, in each Change the verb form
is
family
every parent Add a comma
family,
could
have only 2 Wrong verb form
can
child
. It could be explained by the fact that if Change to a plural noun
children
people
do not comply with the law, people
will be fined. In this
way, China
governments keep a balance in their country. Change noun form
China's
As a result
, it does not leads
to a global crisis.
Change the verb form
lead
On the other hand
, some people
claim that world
Correct article usage
a world
population
increase
is necessary. For example
, they may mention that population
increase
help
with not disappear Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
of
Change preposition
apply
world
. In addition
, new
generation will invent new technologies. The explanation lies in the fact that Add an article
a new
the new
population
soar Correct article usage
a population
beneficial
as it creates the growth of the Add a missing verb
is beneficial
world
's economy and society.
In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would agree that population
surge will not be useful for the planet. Correct article usage
a population
As a result
of population
growth, our planet can not provide all
Change preposition
for all
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
population
.Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction presents the topic clearly and outlines your approach towards the task. You should explicitly introduce both views on population growth and your opinion on the matter.
Task Achievement
The body paragraphs should distinctively address different views with clear topic sentences, and discuss each with pertinent examples and explanations. Make it obvious where you stand in the contrasting views.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas in a logical manner. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the previous paragraph, properly using linking words and phrases.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed and restates your opinion without introducing new information.
Advice
Use a wider range of vocabulary to articulate your points more precisely and avoid repetition. Additionally, work on grammatical accuracy and sentence variety to enhance the quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
Feed real-life examples and statistics where possible to support your arguments, thus making them stronger and more convincing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example