Some people today believe that the world's increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world's economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is how is
world
's
increase
in
population
important. It is undeniable that
in
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apply
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all problems have two sides: pros and cons, and it has become an essential part of our life.
However
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However,
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there is no absolute agreement on whether increasing of
populatin
Correct your spelling
population
should be beneficial or not useful for our
world
. A commonly held belief is that the
world
's
increase
in
population
is unsustainable. As
the
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apply
show examples
evidence of
this
they point to
in
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apply
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China,
there
Rephrase
where there
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are many
people
, about 2 billion. So,
from
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of
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an overabundance of
people
, there are not enough
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
to live and houses are built
top
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on top
show examples
each
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of each
show examples
other as layers,
also
, as
a
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apply
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housecrapers.
Furthermore
, there
are
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is
show examples
a law that, in each
family
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family,
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every parent
could
Wrong verb form
can
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have only 2
child
Change to a plural noun
children
show examples
. It could be explained by the fact that if
people
do not comply with the law,
people
will be fined. In
this
way,
China
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China's
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governments keep a balance in their country.
As a result
, it does not
leads
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lead
show examples
to a global crisis.
On the other hand
, some
people
claim that
world
Correct article usage
a world
show examples
population
increase
is necessary.
For example
, they may mention that
population
increase
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
with not disappear
of
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apply
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world
.
In addition
,
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
generation will invent new technologies. The explanation lies in the fact that
population
Correct article usage
a population
show examples
soar
beneficial
Add a missing verb
is beneficial
show examples
as it creates the growth of the
world
's economy and society. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would agree that
population
Correct article usage
a population
show examples
surge will not be useful for the planet.
As a result
of
population
growth, our planet can not provide
all
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for all
show examples
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
show examples
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction presents the topic clearly and outlines your approach towards the task. You should explicitly introduce both views on population growth and your opinion on the matter.
Task Achievement
The body paragraphs should distinctively address different views with clear topic sentences, and discuss each with pertinent examples and explanations. Make it obvious where you stand in the contrasting views.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas in a logical manner. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the previous paragraph, properly using linking words and phrases.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed and restates your opinion without introducing new information.
Advice
Use a wider range of vocabulary to articulate your points more precisely and avoid repetition. Additionally, work on grammatical accuracy and sentence variety to enhance the quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
Feed real-life examples and statistics where possible to support your arguments, thus making them stronger and more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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