It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people think that this is wasted money, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people argue that

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

a mountain of money for a

country

Use synonyms

to organize a global

sports

Use synonyms

event,

such

Linking Words

as the

Olympic

Use synonyms

Games or football

World

Use synonyms

Cup is wasted money.

While

Linking Words

others believe that

this

Linking Words

will bring numerous benefits.

While

Linking Words

both viewpoints are valid, I lean towards the latter. There are convincing reasons why some opine that

this

Linking Words

is misspent.

Firstly

Linking Words

, these events demand

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

facilities and infrastructure, so the

country

Use synonyms

must incur numerous costs to

renovations

Replace the word

renovate

show examples

the infrastructure

such

Linking Words

as transportation, bridges or airports,

this

Linking Words

can consume billions of dollars.

Next,

Linking Words

organization and operation are

also

Linking Words

too costly, these expenses include costs for security forces, healthcare and other services. Another reason is international

sports

Use synonyms

need to be widely advertised to attract spectators,

this

Linking Words

can cost money on advertising, social media and other activities.

However

Linking Words

, I would argue that the

world

Use synonyms

championships are beneficial for the

host

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country

Use synonyms

. There are many benefits for the

host

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country

Use synonyms

when hosting a global sporting event. International competitions can be appealing to countless tourists worldwide.

This

Linking Words

can help the hosting community's tourism and economic development.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

estimate

Add an article

an estimate

show examples

by the International

Olympic

Use synonyms

Committee,

Rio

Correct article usage

the Rio

show examples

2016

Olympic

Use synonyms

Games

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

brought

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Brazil 7,3 billion dollars

revenue

Change preposition

in revenue

show examples

and created two hundred fifty thousand jobs.

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

raise awareness about the

host

Use synonyms

country

Use synonyms

around the

world

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, which can be profitable for diplomatic and commerce targets.

Furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, international

sports

Use synonyms

can help promote solidarity and peace between countries.

For instance

Linking Words

, the

Olympic

Use synonyms

Games are

occasion

Add an article

an occasion

the occasion

show examples

for sportspeople around the

world

Use synonyms

to compete and interact with each other. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

both views are valid to some extent, I still opine that transnational

sports

Use synonyms

can be beneficial for the

host

Use synonyms

country

Use synonyms

huoglan10Fri Dec 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

Be sure to maintain a consistent and organized structure throughout your essay. Introduction and conclusion are both present, yet they lack a clear position and could be more developed to guide the reader better through your argumentation.

coherence cohesion

The main points should be supported by more specific examples. While some data regarding the Rio Olympics is included, more illustrative details or references could significantly strengthen the argument.

task achievement

To fully address the task, make sure to cover all parts of the prompt. While both views are mentioned, the discussion seems cursory, and your own opinion should be stated more emphatically and justified throughout the essay, not only at the conclusion. Additionally, a richer development of points and a more nuanced view of the opposing argument can also enhance the response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people think that this is wasted money, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think schools should only teach academic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other peole and get news event. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvanages?