It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people think that this is wasted money, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#costs #money #country #host #sports #event #olympic #games #football #world #cup #people

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Some people argue that

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

a mountain of money for a

country

to organize a global

sports

event,

such

as the

Olympic

Games or football

World

Cup is wasted money.

While

others believe that

this

will bring numerous benefits.

While

both viewpoints are valid, I lean towards the latter. There are convincing reasons why some opine that

this

is misspent.

Firstly

, these events demand

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

facilities and infrastructure, so the

country

must incur numerous costs to

renovations

Replace the word

renovate

show examples

the infrastructure

such

as transportation, bridges or airports,

this

can consume billions of dollars.

Next,

organization and operation are

also

too costly, these expenses include costs for security forces, healthcare and other services. Another reason is international

sports

need to be widely advertised to attract spectators,

this

can cost money on advertising, social media and other activities.

However

, I would argue that the

world

championships are beneficial for the

host

country

. There are many benefits for the

host

country

when hosting a global sporting event. International competitions can be appealing to countless tourists worldwide.

This

can help the hosting community's tourism and economic development.

For example

according to

estimate

Add an article

an estimate

show examples

by the International

Olympic

Committee,

Rio

Correct article usage

the Rio

show examples

2016

Olympic

Games

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

brought

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Brazil 7,3 billion dollars

revenue

Change preposition

in revenue

show examples

and created two hundred fifty thousand jobs.

Secondly

this

also

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

raise awareness about the

host

country

around the

world

, which can be profitable for diplomatic and commerce targets.

Furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, international

sports

can help promote solidarity and peace between countries.

For instance

, the

Olympic

Games are

occasion

Add an article

an occasion

the occasion

show examples

for sportspeople around the

world

to compete and interact with each other. In conclusion,

although

both views are valid to some extent, I still opine that transnational

sports

can be beneficial for the

host

country

Submitted by huoglan10 on Fri Dec 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

Be sure to maintain a consistent and organized structure throughout your essay. Introduction and conclusion are both present, yet they lack a clear position and could be more developed to guide the reader better through your argumentation.

coherence cohesion

The main points should be supported by more specific examples. While some data regarding the Rio Olympics is included, more illustrative details or references could significantly strengthen the argument.

task achievement

To fully address the task, make sure to cover all parts of the prompt. While both views are mentioned, the discussion seems cursory, and your own opinion should be stated more emphatically and justified throughout the essay, not only at the conclusion. Additionally, a richer development of points and a more nuanced view of the opposing argument can also enhance the response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people think that this is wasted money, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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