It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people think that this is wasted money, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people argue that
spend
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spending
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a mountain of money for a
country
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to organize a global
sports
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event,
such
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as the
Olympic
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Games or football
World
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Cup is wasted money.
While
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others believe that
this
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will bring numerous benefits.
While
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both viewpoints are valid, I lean towards the latter. There are convincing reasons why some opine that
this
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is misspent.
Firstly
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, these events demand
high quality
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high-quality
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of
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apply
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facilities and infrastructure, so the
country
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must incur numerous costs to
renovations
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renovate
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the infrastructure
such
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as transportation, bridges or airports,
this
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can consume billions of dollars.
Next,
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organization and operation are
also
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too costly, these expenses include costs for security forces, healthcare and other services. Another reason is international
sports
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need to be widely advertised to attract spectators,
this
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can cost money on advertising, social media and other activities.
However
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, I would argue that the
world
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championships are beneficial for the
host
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country
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. There are many benefits for the
host
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country
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when hosting a global sporting event. International competitions can be appealing to countless tourists worldwide.
This
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can help the hosting community's tourism and economic development.
For example
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,
according to
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estimate
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an estimate
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by the International
Olympic
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Committee,
Rio
Correct article usage
the Rio
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2016
Olympic
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Games
has
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apply
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brought
for
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apply
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Brazil 7,3 billion dollars
revenue
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in revenue
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and created two hundred fifty thousand jobs.
Secondly
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,
this
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also
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help
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helps
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raise awareness about the
host
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country
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around the
world
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, which can be profitable for diplomatic and commerce targets.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, international
sports
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can help promote solidarity and peace between countries.
For instance
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, the
Olympic
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Games are
occasion
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an occasion
the occasion
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for sportspeople around the
world
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to compete and interact with each other. In conclusion,
although
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both views are valid to some extent, I still opine that transnational
sports
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can be beneficial for the
host
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country
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.
Submitted by huoglan10 on

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to maintain a consistent and organized structure throughout your essay. Introduction and conclusion are both present, yet they lack a clear position and could be more developed to guide the reader better through your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
The main points should be supported by more specific examples. While some data regarding the Rio Olympics is included, more illustrative details or references could significantly strengthen the argument.
task achievement
To fully address the task, make sure to cover all parts of the prompt. While both views are mentioned, the discussion seems cursory, and your own opinion should be stated more emphatically and justified throughout the essay, not only at the conclusion. Additionally, a richer development of points and a more nuanced view of the opposing argument can also enhance the response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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