IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The given below pie chart shows the cultural and leisure Activities amongst boys’ and girls’. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The given below pie chart shows the cultural and leisure Activities amongst boys’ and girls’. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The two pie charts
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the different types of leisure and cultural activities among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
. The largest activity of
boys
Use synonyms
 who play computer games constitutes about 34%
while
Linking Words
 for
girls
Use synonyms
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 two times less than
boys
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
girls
Use synonyms
 prefer to read more than
boys
Use synonyms
 with about 21%. Notably,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 an almost equal proportion of both
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 have chosen to
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
 music for 10%.
However
Linking Words
,unlike
boys
Use synonyms
 who play soccer and ride
skateboard
Fix the agreement mistake
skateboards
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
 enjoy doing
gymanstics
Correct your spelling
gymnastics
 and netball with about 11% to 15%.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
girls
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 perform
dance
Add an article
a dance
show examples
while
Linking Words
boys
Use synonyms
 like to play soccer with about
asame
Correct your spelling
same
 proportion of about 27%. In a nutshell,
girls
Use synonyms
 and
boys
Use synonyms
 have different tastes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
lesuire
Correct your spelling
leisure
 and
cuultural
Correct your spelling
cultural
 activities but are done in the same proportion.But
also
Linking Words
 they both have similar activities like listening to music.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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