IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Task 1: The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portions of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#world #health #organization #people #five #portions #fruit #vegetables #bar #percentage #males #females #uk #age #group #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart below illustrates the difference
consuming
Change preposition
in consuming
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 at least five fruit and
vegetables
Change the noun form
vegetable
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 rations between men and women by age
group
Use synonyms
 in the UK during 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, all age
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 had the number of females higher than males, except
Use synonyms
group
Add an article
a group
the group
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 of 75.
Whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
 of (19-24) was the lowest, the opposite was seen in the people who had ages
within
Change preposition
between
show examples
 55 to 64. (55-64), (65-74) and (75) were the groups of elderly, which was the majority. The highest belonged to
Use synonyms
group
Add an article
a group
the group
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 of (55-64) with
total
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a total
the total
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 number of both genders at 68%, the figures of men and ladies in
this
Linking Words
group
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 with 35% and 32% respectively, the variation is 3%.
Similarly
Linking Words
 in the
group
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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(65-74)
with
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apply
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30%
females
Add a missing verb
were females
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, 3% more than males at 27%. Strikingly, the individuals who were 75 years old shared the same figure of both
sexs
Correct your spelling
sexes
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the groups of
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
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 and
middle age
Correct your spelling
middle-aged
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 people within 19 to 24 were the
group
Use synonyms
 with less
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 than others, in which, the
teenage
Correct your spelling
teenagers
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 who
consuming
Wrong verb form
consumed at
show examples
 least just 31%, nearly half of the largest
group
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 more women in the groups of (19-24), (25-34),
(35
Correct word choice
and (35
show examples
-44) accounted
Change preposition
for the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar number at 2.5%, the
group
Use synonyms
 of (45-54) was
male’s
Unnecessary verb
male
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 consuming with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 variation at 10%.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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