IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Task 1: The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portions of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart below illustrates the difference
consuming
Change preposition
in consuming
show examples
 at least five fruit and
vegetables
Change the noun form
vegetable
show examples
 rations between men and women by age
group
 in the UK during 2006.
Overall
, all age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 had the number of females higher than males, except
group
Add an article
a group
the group
show examples
 of 75.
Whereas
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
 of (19-24) was the lowest, the opposite was seen in the people who had ages
within
Change preposition
between
show examples
 55 to 64. (55-64), (65-74) and (75) were the groups of elderly, which was the majority. The highest belonged to
group
Add an article
a group
the group
show examples
 of (55-64) with
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
 number of both genders at 68%, the figures of men and ladies in
this
group
 with 35% and 32% respectively, the variation is 3%.
Similarly
 in the
group
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
(65-74)
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30%
females
Add a missing verb
were females
show examples
, 3% more than males at 27%. Strikingly, the individuals who were 75 years old shared the same figure of both
sexs
Correct your spelling
sexes
.
On the other hand
, the groups of
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
 and
middle age
Correct your spelling
middle-aged
show examples
 people within 19 to 24 were the
group
 with less
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 than others, in which, the
teenage
Correct your spelling
teenagers
show examples
 who
consuming
Wrong verb form
consumed at
show examples
 least just 31%, nearly half of the largest
group
.
While
 more women in the groups of (19-24), (25-34),
(35
Correct word choice
and (35
show examples
-44) accounted
Change preposition
for the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar number at 2.5%, the
group
 of (45-54) was
male’s
Unnecessary verb
male
show examples
 consuming with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 variation at 10%.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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