IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some employers are willing to give their workers a certain amount of unpaid sabbatical* time, believing this benefits the individual and the organisation. Other employers see no merit in this arrangement and discourage it. Consider the possible arguments for and against unpaid sabbatical leave, and reach a viewpoint of your own. * Unpaid sabbatical time or leave = extended, unpaid time off work, in which an employee can follow personal interests or studies, and then return to work.

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According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 brain behaviour, a calm mind has more productivity than a busy one during
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 point of view, some employers offer a certain amount of unpaid sabbatical time to increase their employees' yield and
on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some of them disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 solution. Both approach has some benefits and drawbacks. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay, I will consider each one. Human beings tend to have respect in different ways. Some owners of
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 show their respect to their staff by entertainment facilities and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 give them some free time to have their own interests. They believe that it causes to increase in the productivity of workers during
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 hours and personnel won't wait to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
overs
Correct your spelling
over

The word overs doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some employers believe that if they tend to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 approach, it will end up with physical
physical
Remove the redundancy
apply

Oops! It appears that you typed physical twice in a row. Consider deleting one of them.

show examples
fatigue for their employees.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it may lead to
abusing
Wrong verb form
abuse and

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb abusing. Consider changing it.

show examples
,
furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, cause to lack of teamwork
working to
Verb problem
and

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
 the absence of specific workers when they are needed. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 case, the role of the human resource units in companies is going to be bold, which must have an appropriate program to inhibit these kinds of problems. In summary, In my point of view, if there is an appropriate timetable made by the human resource department and a good auditing program to prevent the mentioned problems, the productivity in every aspect of companies that use unpaid sabbatical time bonuses will be more compared to other companies.

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your viewpoint or approach.
logical structure
Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments.
supported main points
Develop your main points by providing specific examples and detailed explanations.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that you clearly state your position and discuss both views before reaching a conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Express your ideas clearly and ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea with supporting information.
relevant specific examples
To achieve higher scores, incorporate specific real-world examples that support your argument and show an apt understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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