Some people say thay History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Over the
last
two three
decades, Correct word choice
or three
Correct article usage
the eduaction
eduaction
perspective has been Correct your spelling
education
educational
revoultionised
more tremendously than ever before Correct your spelling
revolutionised
revolutionized
due to
innovation of the technology
. As a result
, some claim that history
is one
of the imperative school
subjects
while
others opine that science
and technology
are crucial than history
. In
Change preposition
This
this
essay discusses both view points
and I will give my opinion in the Correct your spelling
viewpoints
conclude
part.
On the Change the verb form
concluding
one
hand, history
course is an inevitable subject in schools because it teaches the ancestor's periods which means how they lived and what were the struggles they faced in order Correct article usage
a history
to
children have a chance to know about the past populace lifestyle in childhood. Change preposition
for to
For example
, in Indian school
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
one
of the major subjects
as
Correct your spelling
is
history
, therefore
, indians
have more patriotism towards their nations. Change the capitalization
Indians
History
course not only teaches the past folks's
way of Remove the s
folks'
lives
but Fix the agreement mistake
life
also
teaches how our ancestors were struggle
to get Change the verb form
were struggling
freedom
to us by war Add an article
the freedom
while
many individuals were dead and faced many
Replace the quantifier
much
torture
under Change to a plural noun
tortures
thebritish
colonisation. Correct your spelling
the British
British
Then
, history
is one
of the most important subject
in Change to a plural noun
subjects
school
and children should be studied.
On the other hand
, science
and technology
courses
have more demand in job
market; Add an article
the job
school
should Fix the agreement mistake
schools
be taught
many Wrong verb form
teach
Change preposition
of this
this
related Change the determiner
these
courses
instead
of history
because since
Correct word choice
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
school
time
pupils can Add a comma
time,
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
learnt
innumerable knowledge about Correct your spelling
learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
science
and technology
. To be more precise, this
field has more employment opportunities across the globe, so school
should teach more Fix the agreement mistake
schools
this
based on subjects
in order to offsprings might be gotten better job positions. For instance
, in
western schools have innumerable Change preposition
apply
science
and technology
based on programmes
rather than Replace the word
programs
history
courses
. Learning science
and technology
courses
enhance the students
knowledge and future.
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
To conclude
, when it
all things considered, Correct pronoun usage
apply
although
history
subjects
can bring more past people's lives in order to they can get more patriotism, science
and technology
subjects
provides
enormous job chances across the world. In my opinion Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
about
Change preposition
apply
Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
, science
and technology
subjects
are the most important course
in schools rather than Fix the agreement mistake
courses
history
.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, followed by supporting points and examples that directly relate to the initial view discussed. The essay needs a tighter logical structure to allow the reader to follow your argument cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'eduaction', 'revoultionised', 'british', etc., as they can hinder the clarity of your message. Review your essay to correct these mistakes, as they can detract from your overall score.
task achievement
It appears that you understand the prompt and have attempted to address both views and give your opinion. However, the response occasionally veers off-topic with generalizations rather than focusing on directly comparing the importance of history with science and technology in schools. Ensure that all points are relevant to the question and fully elaborated.
task achievement
Your examples, while somewhat relevant, could be more specific and detailed to effectively illustrate and strengthen your arguments. For instance, rather than mentioning employment opportunities broadly, you could give a precise example of how technological skills lead to specific job roles.