Some people say thay History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #thay #history #school #subjects #world #science #technology

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Over the

last

Linking Words

two

three

Correct word choice

or three

show examples

decades,

Correct article usage

the eduaction

show examples

eduaction

Correct your spelling

education

educational

perspective has been

revoultionised

Correct your spelling

revolutionised

revolutionized

more tremendously than ever before

due to

Linking Words

innovation of the

technology

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, some claim that

history

Use synonyms

one

Use synonyms

of the imperative

school

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others opine that

science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

are crucial than

history

Use synonyms

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay discusses both

view points

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

show examples

and I will give my opinion in the

conclude

Change the verb form

concluding

show examples

part. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand,

Use synonyms

history

Correct article usage

a history

show examples

course is an inevitable subject in schools because it teaches the ancestor's periods which means how they lived and what were the struggles they faced in order

Change preposition

for to

show examples

children have a chance to know about the past populace lifestyle in childhood.

For example

Linking Words

, in Indian

school

Use synonyms

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

one

Use synonyms

of the major

subjects

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

history

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

indians

Change the capitalization

Indians

show examples

have more patriotism towards their nations.

History

Use synonyms

course not only teaches the past

folks's

Remove the s

folks'

show examples

way of

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

teaches how our ancestors

were struggle

Change the verb form

were struggling

show examples

to get

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to us by war

while

Linking Words

many individuals were dead and faced

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

torture

Change to a plural noun

tortures

show examples

under

thebritish

Correct your spelling

the British

British

colonisation.

Then

Linking Words

history

Use synonyms

one

Use synonyms

of the most important

subject

Change to a plural noun

subjects

show examples

school

Use synonyms

and children should be studied.

On the other hand

Linking Words

science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

courses

Use synonyms

have more demand in

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

market;

Use synonyms

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

should

be taught

Wrong verb form

teach

show examples

many

Linking Words

Change preposition

of this

show examples

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

courses

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

history

Use synonyms

because

since

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school

Use synonyms

time

Add a comma

time,

show examples

pupils can

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

learnt

Correct your spelling

learn

show examples

innumerable knowledge about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

. To be more precise,

this

Linking Words

field has more employment opportunities across the globe, so

Use synonyms

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

should teach more

this

Linking Words

based on

subjects

Use synonyms

in order to offsprings might be gotten better job positions.

For instance

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

western schools have innumerable

science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

based on

programmes

Replace the word

programs

show examples

rather than

history

Use synonyms

courses

Use synonyms

. Learning

science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

courses

Use synonyms

enhance the

students

Change to a genitive case

student's

students'

show examples

knowledge and future.

To conclude

Linking Words

, when

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

all things considered,

although

Linking Words

history

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

can bring more past people's lives in order to they can get more patriotism,

science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

provides

Correct subject-verb agreement

provide

show examples

enormous job chances across the world. In my opinion

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

science

Use synonyms

and

technology

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

are the most important

course

Fix the agreement mistake

courses

show examples

in schools rather than

history

Use synonyms

Submitted by reanudeepan on Mon Dec 18 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, followed by supporting points and examples that directly relate to the initial view discussed. The essay needs a tighter logical structure to allow the reader to follow your argument cohesively.

coherence cohesion

Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'eduaction', 'revoultionised', 'british', etc., as they can hinder the clarity of your message. Review your essay to correct these mistakes, as they can detract from your overall score.

task achievement

It appears that you understand the prompt and have attempted to address both views and give your opinion. However, the response occasionally veers off-topic with generalizations rather than focusing on directly comparing the importance of history with science and technology in schools. Ensure that all points are relevant to the question and fully elaborated.

task achievement

Your examples, while somewhat relevant, could be more specific and detailed to effectively illustrate and strengthen your arguments. For instance, rather than mentioning employment opportunities broadly, you could give a precise example of how technological skills lead to specific job roles.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?
It is widely recognized that the phenomenon of global trading on a daily basis from one country to another is ubiquitous due to the fact that nowadays modern technology is developing excessively. Some people argue its demerits first. However, in my further paragraph both, advantages and disadvantages will be discussed accordingly and I personally believe that the amenities can overweight its difficulties.
5.5
band
Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?
There are some, who are of the view that all educational institutions pay more attention to the theory than practice. From my perspective, some subjects need profound capacities of the facts while there are a lot of hands-on capabilities which students can acquire only through their regular uses .
5
band
A lot of peoplehave become dependent on technology as it plays a big role in our daily lives.Do you agree that living in computer age has more advantages than disadvantages. Describe the positive andnegative impacts of technology on our lives and give your opinion.
Technology is what drives the world today; it becomes the integral part of our day-to-day life as it would be hard to imagine our successful future without internet. However, there are some people believe that it leads to our dependencies solely on latest technologies such as internet and smart gadgets. To counter this, I believe that living in today's technological world has numerous merits than its demerits which are articulated in following paragraphs.
6.5
band
Research into new types of medicine is essential to improve health and deal with disease. Who do you think should fund this research- private companies, individuals, or governments?
Scientists work hard to discover and create new types of drugs to protect people from various diseases; however, some people believe that governments should pay for them, while others believe that it is the population's responsibility. In this report, I will go through both sides and then allow me to conclude my point of view.
<4
band
More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Health ia Wealth. Nowadays, It is being seen that, in many advanced nation kids are becoming heavy then before this is a significant matter for a rich country. I think unaware of heath issues and the governments have to invest a lot of money for this reasons. In the following eassy , will elaborate about the reasons and the impacts.

Some people say thay History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of peoplehave become dependent on technology as it plays a big role in our daily lives.Do you agree that living in computer age has more advantages than disadvantages. Describe the positive andnegative impacts of technology on our lives and give your opinion.

Research into new types of medicine is essential to improve health and deal with disease. Who do you think should fund this research- private companies, individuals, or governments?

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.