Some people say thay History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #thay #history #school #subjects #world #science #technology

Over the

last

two

three

Correct word choice

or three

show examples

decades,

Correct article usage

the eduaction

show examples

eduaction

Correct your spelling

education

educational

perspective has been

revoultionised

Correct your spelling

revolutionised

revolutionized

more tremendously than ever before

due to

innovation of the

technology

As a result

, some claim that

history

one

of the imperative

school

subjects

while

others opine that

science

and

technology

are crucial than

history

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

essay discusses both

view points

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

show examples

and I will give my opinion in the

conclude

Change the verb form

concluding

show examples

part. On the

one

hand,

history

Correct article usage

a history

show examples

course is an inevitable subject in schools because it teaches the ancestor's periods which means how they lived and what were the struggles they faced in order

Change preposition

for to

show examples

children have a chance to know about the past populace lifestyle in childhood.

For example

, in Indian

school

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

one

of the major

subjects

Correct your spelling

show examples

history

therefore

indians

Change the capitalization

Indians

show examples

have more patriotism towards their nations.

History

course not only teaches the past

folks's

Remove the s

folks'

show examples

way of

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

but

also

teaches how our ancestors

were struggle

Change the verb form

were struggling

show examples

to get

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to us by war

while

many individuals were dead and faced

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

torture

Change to a plural noun

tortures

show examples

under

thebritish

Correct your spelling

the British

British

colonisation.

Then

history

one

of the most important

subject

Change to a plural noun

subjects

show examples

school

and children should be studied.

On the other hand

science

and

technology

courses

have more demand in

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

market;

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

should

be taught

Wrong verb form

teach

show examples

many

Change preposition

of this

show examples

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

courses

instead

history

because

since

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school

time

Add a comma

time,

show examples

pupils can

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

learnt

Correct your spelling

learn

show examples

innumerable knowledge about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

science

and

technology

. To be more precise,

this

field has more employment opportunities across the globe, so

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

should teach more

this

based on

subjects

in order to offsprings might be gotten better job positions.

For instance

Change preposition

apply

show examples

western schools have innumerable

science

and

technology

based on

programmes

Replace the word

programs

show examples

rather than

history

courses

. Learning

science

and

technology

courses

enhance the

students

Change to a genitive case

student's

students'

show examples

knowledge and future.

To conclude

, when

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

all things considered,

although

history

subjects

can bring more past people's lives in order to they can get more patriotism,

science

and

technology

subjects

provides

Correct subject-verb agreement

provide

show examples

enormous job chances across the world. In my opinion

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

science

and

technology

subjects

are the most important

course

Fix the agreement mistake

courses

show examples

in schools rather than

history

Submitted by reanudeepan on Mon Dec 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, followed by supporting points and examples that directly relate to the initial view discussed. The essay needs a tighter logical structure to allow the reader to follow your argument cohesively.

coherence cohesion

Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'eduaction', 'revoultionised', 'british', etc., as they can hinder the clarity of your message. Review your essay to correct these mistakes, as they can detract from your overall score.

task achievement

It appears that you understand the prompt and have attempted to address both views and give your opinion. However, the response occasionally veers off-topic with generalizations rather than focusing on directly comparing the importance of history with science and technology in schools. Ensure that all points are relevant to the question and fully elaborated.

task achievement

Your examples, while somewhat relevant, could be more specific and detailed to effectively illustrate and strengthen your arguments. For instance, rather than mentioning employment opportunities broadly, you could give a precise example of how technological skills lead to specific job roles.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say thay History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

you are preparing an event in the countryside. Write a letter to your friend and ask for help with the arrangements. What the event is. Why the event is being held? What arrangements have already been made? How your friend can help?

Some people think that in school discipline should br the job of the teacher where as some believe it is the parents responsibility. discuss both side and give your opinion.

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweight the disadvantages?

Many people believe that the government should spend money on helping undeveloped countries instead of spending money on increasing military strength, as they do not face risks of war.