Some people say thay History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Over the
last
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

two
three
Correct word choice
or three

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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decades,
Correct article usage
the eduaction

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
educational

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perspective has been
revoultionised
Correct your spelling
revolutionised
revolutionized

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more tremendously than ever before
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

innovation of the
technology
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.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some claim that
history
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is
one
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of the imperative
school
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subjects
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while
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others opine that
science
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and
technology
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are crucial than
history
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.
In
Change preposition
This

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay discusses both
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints

The word view points seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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and I will give my opinion in the
conclude
Change the verb form
concluding

The verb conclude should be in the participle form when used as an adjective. Consider changing the form of this verb.

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part. On the
one
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hand,
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

history
Correct article usage
a history

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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course is an inevitable subject in schools because it teaches the ancestor's periods which means how they lived and what were the struggles they faced in order
to
Change preposition
for to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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children have a chance to know about the past populace lifestyle in childhood.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Indian
school
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb has appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
one
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of the major
subjects
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as
Correct your spelling
is

The word as doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
history
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
indians
Change the capitalization
Indians

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have more patriotism towards their nations.
History
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course not only teaches the past
folks's
Remove the s
folks'

The word 's is not the correct form for the plural possessive of the noun folks. Remove the final s.

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way of
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life

It seems that lives may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

teaches how our ancestors
were struggle
Change the verb form
were struggling

It appears that the form of the verb struggle does not work with were in this sentence.

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to get
freedom
Add an article
the freedom

The noun phrase freedom seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to us by war
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

many individuals were dead and faced
many
Replace the quantifier
much

It appears that the quantifier many does not fit with the uncountable noun torture. Consider changing it.

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torture
Change to a plural noun
tortures

The singular countable noun torture follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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under
thebritish
Correct your spelling
the British
British

If you don’t want thebritish to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

colonisation.
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
history
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
one
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the most important
subject
Change to a plural noun
subjects

The singular countable noun subject follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

show examples
in
school
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and children should be studied.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

courses
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have more demand in
job
Add an article
the job

The noun phrase job market seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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market;
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools

It seems that school may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should
be taught
Wrong verb form
teach

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb be taught. Consider changing it.

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many
Linking Words
Change preposition
of this
show examples
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Change the determiner
these

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun courses. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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related
courses
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of
history
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because
since
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Add a comma
time,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase since the school time. Consider adding a comma.

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pupils can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb be appears to be unnecessary here.

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learnt
Correct your spelling
learn

The word learnt doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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innumerable knowledge about
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To be more precise,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

field has more employment opportunities across the globe, so
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools

It seems that school may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should teach more
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

based on
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in order to offsprings might be gotten better job positions.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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western schools have innumerable
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

based on
programmes
Replace the word
programs

The word programmes doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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rather than
history
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

courses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Learning
science
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

courses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

enhance the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'

It appears that the word students should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
knowledge and future.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
all things considered,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

history
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can bring more past people's lives in order to they can get more patriotism,
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide

It seems that the verb provides does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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enormous job chances across the world. In my opinion
about
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are the most important
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses

It seems that course may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in schools rather than
history
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, followed by supporting points and examples that directly relate to the initial view discussed. The essay needs a tighter logical structure to allow the reader to follow your argument cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'eduaction', 'revoultionised', 'british', etc., as they can hinder the clarity of your message. Review your essay to correct these mistakes, as they can detract from your overall score.
task achievement
It appears that you understand the prompt and have attempted to address both views and give your opinion. However, the response occasionally veers off-topic with generalizations rather than focusing on directly comparing the importance of history with science and technology in schools. Ensure that all points are relevant to the question and fully elaborated.
task achievement
Your examples, while somewhat relevant, could be more specific and detailed to effectively illustrate and strengthen your arguments. For instance, rather than mentioning employment opportunities broadly, you could give a precise example of how technological skills lead to specific job roles.
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