Write about the following topic: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition totheir main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #university #students #subjects #addition #totheir #time #attention #qualification

I would highly recommend the

applicant

to participate in the

CrossCulture

Fellowship

Programme

. They have a strong academic background, a passion for cross-cultural understanding,

skills

, and

experience

necessary to be successful in

this

programme

. The

applicant

has a Bachelor of Science degree

Change preposition

from

show examples

IPB University, which

has

Verb problem

show examples

quality

Add an article

a quality

show examples

university in Indonesia. They are fluent in English and Indonesian, and they have

experience

working in a multicultural environment. They are

also

a strong leader and team player.

In addition

to their academic background and passion for cross-cultural understanding, the

applicant

also

has the

skills

and

experience

necessary to be successful in the

CrossCulture

Fellowship

Programme

. I believe that the

applicant

would be a valuable asset to the

CrossCulture

Fellowship

Programme

. The

applicant

skills

are GIS and remote sensing, which is demonstrated by working on an analysis of deforestation in the Papua region in 2017-2022. The analysis aims to calculate the current forest and non-forest

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

. Of course, the area obtained can be useful for determining how much carbon can be calculated or can determine policies that can be carried out by utilizing existing forests in terms of the environment. I am confident that the

applicant

would be a valuable addition to the

CrossCulture

Fellowship

Program. They have the

skills

experience

, and passion to make a real difference in the world.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Dec 18 2023

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task achievement

Your essay does not address the IELTS writing prompt provided, which asked for a discussion of the views on whether university students should study additional subjects or focus solely on their main subjects for qualification. It is crucial to adhere to the topic and task given in the exam.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay lacks an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, it is important to clearly structure your essay with an introduction that paraphrases the prompt, body paragraphs that discuss both views and provide examples, and a conclusion that summarizes your points and states your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your main points are supported by relevant and specific examples related to the topic. Since the provided essay does not relate to the given prompt, it entirely misses providing support for the issue at hand. Examples need to be directly connected to the topic of students studying additional subjects alongside their main subjects.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

219 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Somr university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others belive it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualification. discuss both views and give your opinion

students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many young people regularly change their job over the years. What are the reasons for this. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Many People think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while other believe that all companies should have the right to advertise what is your opinion?

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?