IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
There is no right answer: what can help your future career more - learning different disciplines
in addition
 to your main or being focused on
one
subject
 or Those who believe spreading knowledge is better get more “soft skills” which can help them feel more comfortable in any company, to communicate with new people
easier
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 as they
got
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 topics to talk about.
Also
,
usual
Correct article usage
the usual
show examples
 changing of
studied
Add an article
the studied
a studied
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 could improve your mental health as some psychological studies tell.
However
, spreading may harm your core activity, because sometimes it is better to target
one
 goal if you really want to reach it. The reverse seems true
also
. Being focused on
one
subject
 obviously will make you chances to become the best of
this
 particular
subject
 higher.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
this
 type of studying may make you a boring person with only
one
 topic to talk about. Both these views have their pros and cons and it is
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
 decision what way will be best for you. The best advice is to aim your goals properly and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not close your eyes when you see opportunities.
Submitted by ulasasha3 on

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structure
Your essay seems to lack a clear introduction and conclusion. It is essential that you provide a distinct opening and closing to frame your arguments effectively. This structure aids the reader in understanding the direction and the summation of your discussion.
cohesion
You should strive for more coherence in your essay. This means your ideas need to be connected more logically, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smoother to help guide the reader through your argument.
development
Expanding on your main points with supportive arguments or examples is needed. To strengthen your essay, make sure your key ideas are well-explained and supported with evidence or relevant examples.
task response
Ensure you address the task directly. Your response appears incomplete as you did not thoroughly discuss both views and your own opinion was not clear or well-developed. A balanced discussion with a concluding opinion is critical.
idea development
To achieve a higher score, develop clear and comprehensive ideas. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each paragraph builds upon the last with clear, well-thought-out points.
example usage
Include relevant specific examples to support your points. Without them, your arguments lack the necessary depth and real-world application to persuade the reader effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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