IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart belows shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart belows shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of men and women
in
Change preposition
of
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 different ages who did physical activity regularly in Australia in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, in all
age
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 groups, women were more active than men, except for the
age
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 group of 15 to 24
years
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. Of the male
age
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 groups listed, the biggest
percentage
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 belonged to 15-24
years
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 old, with 52.8%
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
percentage
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 belonged to 35-44
years
Use synonyms
 old.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, of the female
age
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 groups listed, 45-54
years
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 old had the highest
percentage
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, with 53.3%
while
Linking Words
 those who were 65
years
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 or older, had the lowest
percentage
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, with 47.1. The biggest difference was in the
age
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 group of 35 to 44
years
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 and the smallest difference was in the
age
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 group of 65
years
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 and above.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • regular physical activity
  • percentage (%)
  • age groups
  • gender comparison
  • Australian demographics
  • bar chart
  • trends
  • peak activity levels
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • vigorous exercise
  • moderate exercise
  • age bracket
  • physically active
  • statistical overview
  • exercise habits
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