IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or is it the responsibility of the producers to avoid extra packaging of goods?

#consumers #products #responsibility #producers #goods
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Over packaging of the products which was always debatable has now become more controversial. The substantial influence of
this
 trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, it is the equal responsibility of both the consumers and producers to avoid
over
Change preposition
apply
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packaging of products.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate on my viewpoints,
along with
 a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the first and foremost reason behind
this
 is that it increases the cost of production and results in wastage of material, manpower and energy. Another striking reason in
this
 regard is that
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of plastic, which is non-biodegradable, creates a serious problem for the environment. Categorically, it cannot be ignored that
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of paper leads to deforestation, global warming and air pollution. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that all the materials used for packaging will eventually end up in landfills. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of
product
Correct article usage
a product
show examples
 increases which puts the burden on the consumer's pocket
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and makes the product less competitive in the market.
For instance
,
McDonald
Change noun form
McDonald's
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 packs its burgers in a paper wrap
,
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apply
show examples
 and
then
 puts them into a cardboard container, and in the
last
 hands to customers in a paper bag. It increases the cost of the product. To recapitulate,
according to
 the arguments aforementioned above, one can conclude that producers should ethically perform their activities which are not harmful to the environment and consumers should stop purchasing
such
 items to discourage the companies
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
over-pack
Wrong verb form
over-packing
show examples
 their items.
Submitted by jagdeepsingh3699 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay has a clear logical progression. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas across and within paragraphs. Each main body paragraph should focus on a single idea and be well-developed with clear topic sentences.
Task Achievement
For task response, aim to cover the question thoroughly. This includes addressing all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the essay, and supporting your ideas with developed examples. Ensure the response is directly relevant to the prompt and detailed enough to convey your stance and argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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