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In school and universities, girls tend to chose arts while boys like science. What are the reason of this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed?

#school #universities #girls #arts #boys #science #reason #trend #tendency
Nowadays, It is believed by some individuals that female students tend to select
arts
 programs in schools and colleges
whereas
 male students prefer
science
. One of the obvious reasons why in many schools and universities girls tend to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
arts
whereas
 boys prefer
science
 is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
gender inequality. Many people from all around the world have an opinion that females can only be good at
arts
 and humanities, which includes
subjects
 like sociology, music and so on.
On the other hand
, males are mostly considered for
science
subjects
 because they have stronger cognitive
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
 than girls.
Secondly
, many parents force their
children
 to select the major that they think is the best for their
children
 without even asking their
children
 what they desire.
For example
, many human beings in my country choose their major because of their parents’s decisions.
For instance
, one of my friends wants to study International relations,
however
, her parents force her to become a doctor. I strongly believe that
this
 tendency should be changed. First of all, from my point of view, every individual, whether it is a girl or boy should have a right to choose
subjects
 they are passionate about.
In addition
, I strongly reckon that females have strong intellectual skills and are able to become one of the best in their chosen fields. As far as I am able to judge those stereotypes that men are smarter than women should be vanished. It does not depend on gender it depends on a person. In conclusion,
due to
 the gender
difference
Add a comma
difference,
show examples
 girls tend to choose
arts
while
 boys prefer
science
,
moreover
, many parents force their
children
 to select
subjects
,
however
, every person regardless of sex should have the right to choose
subjects
 they are interested in.
Submitted by tmargaryan2006 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a complex structure with clear progression throughout. While the introduction and conclusion are present, they are simplistic and could be developed further for a more profound impact. Use a variety of cohesive devices and paragraphing to strengthen the argument and clarity of the text.
task achievement
While you completed the task, the response could have been more fully developed with additional relevant examples and a deeper exploration of the underlying issues. Your ideas are clear but need to be expanded on to better meet the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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