IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The chart below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relavant.

The chart below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relavant.
#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relavant
The pie charts illustrate the average share of three kinds of ingredients which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. the nutrients consist of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar. the data taken from the United States of America. first of all, the portion of
snacks
 and
breakfast
 in the consumption of sodium
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal
14
Change preposition
to 14
show examples
%,
while
 the share of lunch and dinner was around twice and three times as big as that of
snacks
 and
breakfast
. in the second chart that contains
saturate
Change the form of the verb
saturated
show examples
 fat, the proportion of
snacks
 was 5% more than that of
breakfast
 which was 21%.
Moreover
, the percentage of dinner
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 biggest was 37% which was 19% as big as that of
breakfast
. the third chart in the consumption of added sugar shows us the contribution of
snacks
 was around double that of dinner which was 42%.
However
, the percentage of lunch was 3% more than
breakfast
 which was 19%.
To sum up
, the diagrams show that the average share
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 typical meals consumed in the USA contains three kinds of ingredients which may be unhealthy if eaten a lot.
Submitted by ziba.gharehnazifam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words snacks, breakfast with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: