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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people believe that governments should invest more in improving public transportation systems to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Others argue that individuals should take responsibility for reducing traffic problems by using public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #transportation #systems #traffic #congestion #air #pollution #individuals #responsibility #transport
Transportation is increasing day by day with the
icrease
Correct your spelling
increase
 in population simultaneously increasing
pollution
.
Actually
Add a comma
Actually,
show examples
 public
transport
 is not so active and easily available in India. Primarily, it is the duty of the government to make public
transport
 easily available at working hours regularly.
Secondary
Replace the word
Secondly
show examples
,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 should
also
use
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 private
vehicles
for reducing
Change preposition
to reduce
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
. As the population is increasing, the transportation is
also
 increasing
accordingly
. The governments should make policies to make
use
 of public
transport
 to reduce the production of air
pollution
. Public
transport
 should be available on time for
office going
Add a hyphen
office-going
show examples
 employees like doctors, engineers, lawyers, teachers, shopkeepers etc. Generally public
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 private
vehicles
, not
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
transport
 system. If anyone uses public
transport
 and if anyhow he fails to reach on time
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 it becomes a
rumor
Change the spelling
rumour
show examples
 of the city or village.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
people
 start to
use
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 resulting in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more air
pollution
.
People
 who live in remote areas like farmers, hilly areas
people
, poor
people
 etc are dependent on the
use
 of public
transport
 as they can not afford private
vehicles
. Elderly
people
 who are unable to drive the
vehicles
also
 depend on public
transport
. So in remote
areas
Add a comma
areas,
show examples
 air
pollution
 is very less. In the end, it is the duty of the government to implement strong laws for transportation and should launch public programmes
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 social media,
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 etc. to
make
Verb problem
raise
show examples
 awareness
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 in limited
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
.
Submitted by vipinchoudhary7247237409 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introductory paragraph that introduces the topic and previews the main points to be discussed. Follow a logical structure with clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea with supporting details. Use cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by discussing both views presented in the prompt and providing your own opinion. Offer a balanced discussion and make sure your personal stance is clear and well supported by arguments. Refer to the prompt throughout the essay to remain focused on the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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