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Band 6

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown Below. Leisure time in a typical week in hours – by sex and employment status, 1998-99.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown Below. Leisure time in a typical week in hours – by sex and employment status, 1998-99.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status #report #university #lecturer #information #week #hours #sex
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The bar graph illustrates
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who spent their spare
time
Use synonyms
 in a
week
Use synonyms
 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1998-99. In
this
Linking Words
 chart, various
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
show examples
 are available like employed,
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 employee, unemployed, retired and
housewiwes
Correct your spelling
housewives
. First of all, men and women who were employed and working
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full
time
Use synonyms
hence
Linking Words
, they had less
time
Use synonyms
 than
unemplyed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
 and retired
people
Use synonyms
. Around 45
hours
Use synonyms
got
Wrong verb form
were spent
show examples
 by men and
near to
Correct your spelling
nearly
show examples
 40
hours
Use synonyms
 were
get
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 by women in a particular
week
Use synonyms
 who were
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 no data
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who worked
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, men got 40
hours
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to enjoy their leisure
time
Use synonyms
. Almost 50% of a
Use synonyms
week
Change noun form
week's
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 were
got
Verb problem
worked for
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 were unemployed(male-85
hours
Use synonyms
 and female-79
hours
Use synonyms
) and retired(male-82
hours
Use synonyms
 and female-79
hours
Use synonyms
). Retired and employed
people
Use synonyms
 got more
hours
Use synonyms
 rather than
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 workers. Housewives who
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
worked
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had 50
hours
Use synonyms
spare
Change preposition
of spare
show examples
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
week
Use synonyms
. To commence with, it can be seen that employed
people
Use synonyms
 could
got
Change the verb form
get
be got
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 to spend in enjoy
time
Use synonyms
 than
people
Use synonyms
 who were
umemployed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
, retired and housewives.
Submitted by Rachna Academy on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, week, part, people, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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What to do next:
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