IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the government should invest more in public transportation to reduce traffic congestion. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #government #transportation #traffic #congestion
•I Strongly agree with the statement that
administration
Correct article usage
the administration
show examples
 should allocate more funds to enhance
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
transportation
 system. Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
 congestion is a major issue in urban areas specifically and investing more in
this
 sector is a sustainable solution that benefits the environment
,
Correct word choice
and, quality
show examples
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 of citizens. •
Firstly
, investing in public
transportation
alleviate
Correct subject-verb agreement
alleviates
show examples
traffic
 congestion, which leads to reduced
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 pollution, shorter commute times, and increased road safety. It promotes the use of buses,
subway
Correct word choice
and subway
show examples
 lines,
thus
 reducing the number of private vehicles on the road.
This
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not only
easing
Wrong verb form
eases
show examples
 the
traffic
 but
also
 has a positive impact on the environment by curbing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
. •
Moreover
, a well-functioning public transport system enhances the
overall
 quality of life in a city. It makes commuting more efficient , reducing
stress
Add an article
the stress
show examples
 level of citizens. It
also
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 mobility for those who can’t afford private vehicles or those who are physically challenged. •
Furthermore
, effective public
transportation
 can stimulate economic growth. It connects people to job opportunities , businesses to customers and encourages tourism, all of which contribute to a vibrant economy. A well public transport system
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
 the workforce,
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 road maintenance
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 and
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 parking spaces in urban crowded areas.
To Sum up
, increasing government investments in public
transportation
 is a proactive measure to combat
traffic
 congestion and its associated issues. It promotes environmental sustainability, improves
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of life and
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 economic development.
Therefore
,
this
 approach is highly recommendable and should be followed by governments worldwide.
Submitted by ranayogesh5050 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments made within the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay in a logical manner with clear progression between paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is fully developed with specific examples or data to support your arguments.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, present a clear position throughout the response, and provide a conclusion that encapsulates your viewpoint in relation to the prompt.
task achievement
To improve your score, work on providing more detailed examples that directly support your viewpoint. Avoid general statements in favor of specifics to make your essay more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!