Some employers want to contact their staff at all times. Does this development have more advantages then disadvantages?

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Some employers decide to reach their
employees
Use synonyms
at all times.
Although
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some individuals believe that
this
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is not a problem, I believe
this
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development
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
more drawbacks
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then
Replace the word
than
show examples
advantages because most of the
employees
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have decreased
productivity
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. Believing that being
reachable
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at all the
time
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is not a negative
aspects
Correct the article-noun agreement
aspect
show examples
might lead people to accept
this
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fact as normal, so more
employees
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support
this
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type of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
Firstly
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, most workers do not believe
this
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is a negative aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
their lives, and they answer a phone even when they are at home. Some of them
offfer
Correct your spelling
offer
a second line to be more
reachable
Use synonyms
without notice
this
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might increase their pressure in life.
As a result
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, they accept
this
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as a normal way of living.
For instance
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, in most countries, it is totally normal to ask for two cellphone numbers
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
a manager can call them if they need you. If
this
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do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not change,
this
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will be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a new rule for the
rest
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of the world.
However
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, I believe
this
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is not right because
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
people's
responsanbilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
even when they are not at
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
development brings more disadvantages
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
positive outcomes because
employees
Use synonyms
have decreased
productivity
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.
This
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is the result of having so much pressure at
work
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and at home that they end
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
up feeling demotivated, so they slow down as
natural
Correct article usage
a natural
show examples
response
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
feeling burned out.
Moreover
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, having no
time
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to
rest
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,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
workers feel tired and
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
because they need to
rest
Use synonyms
to feel with high level of energy again.
However
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,
this
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is sometimes impossible because they are contacted through email, text or by phone, so
productivity
Use synonyms
has decreased. To illustrate my point, nowadays, people
work
Use synonyms
more hours but
productivity
Use synonyms
has declined because they feel tired during the day due
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
not having real
time
Use synonyms
to unwind. I believe being
reachable
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at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the
time
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more disadvantages, and it t would be much better to not provide
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
phone number.
To conclude
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,
although
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it is requested to provide alternative contact at
work
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, it is much better to decline
this
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petition because
this
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might help the
employees
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to not be
reachable
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after they finish their
work
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, and
this
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is a preferable way of living to be able to
rest
Use synonyms
and have fun to feel full of energy again.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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task achievement
You should ensure that each main point in your essay is clearly developed and extended. Introduce each point with a topic sentence and follow it with relevant support and examples.
task achievement
Work on improving the overall structure of your essay. While you have an introduction and a conclusion, they need to be clearer and more effectively summarize your main points. Specific examples should be included to support arguments better.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more concise and tightly focused on the question. Make sure your introduction sets the stage for the discussion to come, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the points made.
coherence cohesion
You attempted to organize your essay with a logical structure, but there were moments where the argument wasn't as clear as it could be. A more explicit connection between ideas would enhance the flow and understanding of your points.
coherence cohesion
You should work on connecting your ideas more cohesively. Use transitional phrases and make sure each paragraph builds upon the last in a logical manner, ensuring that all your main points are coherent and clearly support your overall argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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