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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #information #visitors #three #london #museums #june #september #summarise #features #comparisons
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The chart shows the data about the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 in thousands to
three
Use synonyms
 museums located in London from
June
Use synonyms
 to September
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are
three
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
, namely
Use synonyms
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
, Natural
History
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 and Science
Museum
Use synonyms
, where the first one has the highest point of people, attending
this
Linking Words
 place, with some fluctuations,
whereas
Linking Words
 the other two illustrate a lower tendency of visiting these places. Turning to the details,
Use synonyms
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 started
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 roughly 600
thousand
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in
June
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was the highest in the beginning. Natural
History
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 had a lower attendance at approximately 550
thousand
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
 in the same month,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was the highest number for
this
Linking Words
 line during four months. The
last
Linking Words
 one, which was
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
, started
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 400
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was the lowest figure between
three
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
 in
June
Use synonyms
. The second month of the summer shows different numbers and opposite movement of
lines
Use synonyms
. To be specific,
Use synonyms
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 saw
upward
Add an article
an upward
the upward
show examples
 trend to 750
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
, that was the peak between
Use synonyms
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
lines
Use synonyms
 and during the whole period of summer. As for the other two
lines
Use synonyms
, they experienced
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 trend to just under 400
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
. Moving to August, it shows
also
Linking Words
 various fluctuations between
Use synonyms
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
lines
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
History
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 levelled off from July to August,
this
Linking Words
 line increased slightly to 490
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was slightly lower than it was in
June
Use synonyms
. At the same time
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 had decreased from 750
thousand
Use synonyms
 to 500
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
, but
then
Linking Words
 it increased to 650
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people in September. The
last
Linking Words
 line continued the starting trend, reaching 300
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 in August, but
then
Linking Words
 it grew
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number, that was a bit lower than
Natural
Correct article usage
the Natural
show examples
History
Use synonyms
 of
Museum
Use synonyms
’s figure.
Submitted by zavkidm on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, three, june, lines, british, museum, history, thousand, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • illustrates
  • number of visitors
  • museums
  • from June to September 2013
  • the British Museum
  • the Natural History Museum
  • the Science Museum
  • overall trend
  • attracted
  • the most visitors
  • fewest visitors
  • peak
  • experienced fluctuations
  • decline
  • highlight
  • dominance
  • consistent decline
  • minor resurgence
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