Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Although
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it is thought that
History
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is a crucial lesson in school, other people believe that more
focused
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focus
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should be on other
subjects
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.
While
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history
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could be useful for
students
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, from my point
view
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of view
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some other fields are more vital.
Such
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a mixed blessing requires
further
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examination
into
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in
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a wider context. On the one hand, it is mistakenly alleged that being aware of former events of a country can generate
sense
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a sense
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of pride and
patriot
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patriotism
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in the
students
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.
This
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assumption claims that having
this
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kind of
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students
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student
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would lead to a great future for that country. One reason for
that is
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that they can brainwash the children through
history
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lessons and provoke hate and anger
to
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in
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the foreign countries in them, which can,
therefore
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, lead to an army of young people who hate their national enemy. Tyrannical regimes,
for example
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, use
history
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to shape the young’s mind. They teach children that
history
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acts like a mirror, and
future
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the future
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is the reflection of
past
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the past
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so it is a major field of study. It is just half of the picture;
this
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matter should be seen on a broader canvas.
On the other hand
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, many individuals think that learning science and technology is much more important and I agree. As we live in the age
technology
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of technology
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, where everything is done through the internet is so vital for children to learn
this
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skill at
the
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apply
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school.
This
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can greatly contribute to better work performance in the near future, when they want to enter to job market.
Moreover
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,
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this kind
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these kinds
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of
subjects
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are more exciting for
students
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than
subjects
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like
history
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and geography. In conclusion, I can understand why some individuals name
history
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as an important school lesson, but, clearly, fresh
subjects
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such
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as science and technology are, indeed, much more useful.
Submitted by alifarzaneh on

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task achievement
While the essay has an introduction and conclusion, and attempts to address both views, it lacks clear, well-developed examples to support the main points. Providing concrete, relevant examples would enhance the argument and increase the score.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay could be improved. While ideas are generally organised, the organisation could be more logical and the connections between ideas clearer. This would improve the coherence of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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