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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows percentages of three groups of Australian children taking part in four kinds of activities in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows percentages of three groups of Australian children taking part in four kinds of activities in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the
rate
 of ladies and gents in 6 different
age
 groups regular physical activity in Australia during 2010.
Overall
, all
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of Australian women preferred physical activities
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 men except
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
age
group
. In 2010, 15-24 aged men's physical activity
rate
 was 52.8%
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest number in the year. But, after
age
 25 it showed
decline
Add an article
a decline
show examples
 and the lowest percentage
reported
Add a missing verb
was reported
show examples
 in
35
Correct article usage
the 35
show examples
-44
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
group
.
Furthermore
,
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
-54, 55-64, and over 65 aged individuals workout
rate
 were increased modestly to 43.1%, 45.5% and 46.7% respectively. In terms of women, 15-24 years
olds
Correct your spelling
old
show examples
 was 47.7% and
then
 the figure started to rise gradually
according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
.
However
, 35-44, 45-54 and 55-64
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
group
 rates were above 50%. In comparison to gents ladies physical activity
rate
 was higher by 0.4% of old ages.
Submitted by ranasinghenadeeshani07 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, age, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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