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Band 5

It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most people have a credit card, a mortgage and often they will buy car on credit as well. Is this a good idea or is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #money #credit #card #mortgage #car #idea
The question of whether getting loans and credit from financial institutions is risky or saving money to purchase the necessities of living has always been a topic of debate. In the following paragraphs, I will provide my balanced response and the reasons supporting it. These days, some people might not have enough resources to pay the full amount of price. Usually, youngsters do not have sufficient savings to get a shelter or buy an automobile to start a family.
Moreover
, enabling the public to benefit from financial credit options banks provide, would act as a positive point to motivate the young generation in their early life.
Thus
, financial credits and loans play a key role
to increase
Change preposition
in increasing
show examples
 self-efficiency and stability of
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 status of a society.
On the other hand
, the burden of loans and mortgages can stimulate stress and anxiety in public.
For example
, Individuals with heavy mortgages are not only unconsciously worried about their debt to be settled, but
also
 less likely to be able to save their income for their retirement.
Furthermore
, a lack of job security can exacerbate the issue, resulting in bankruptcy and confiscation of possessions. By and large, borrowing money could ruin years of endeavor if is not dealt with carefully.
To conclude
,
while
 getting funded from banks might seem financially interesting in
short
Correct article usage
the short
show examples
 term, it can have devastating drawbacks in the long term if it is not well-managed.
Submitted by Reza Moravej on

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task achievement
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task achievement
Develop your main points by giving more specific examples to better illustrate your arguments. This will help you achieve a higher score in task response.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a logical flow of ideas throughout your essay to ensure that there is a clear progression from start to finish.
coherence cohesion
Use a broader range of cohesive devices to enhance the interconnectivity of your ideas and arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compelled
  • strategic financial decision
  • investing
  • property
  • cash flow
  • rewards programs
  • debt trap
  • servicing debt
  • exacerbate
  • financial strain
  • cycle of debt
  • personal responsibility
  • financial literacy
  • informed decisions
  • excessive borrowing
  • ill-informed borrowing
  • financial planning
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