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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditure for five major categories in the United States , Canada, the United Kingdom and Japan in the year 2009.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditure for five major categories in the United States , Canada, the United Kingdom and Japan in the year 2009.
#bar #shares #expenditure #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan #year
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he
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The
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 bar chart represents portions of spending for different important sectors (food, housing
transportation
Use synonyms
, health care) in four separate countries ( United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Japan) in 2009
Overall
Linking Words
, almost every country
share
Correct subject-verb agreement
shares
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 their most expenditure for food ,housing and
transportation
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they
contributed
Wrong verb form
contribute
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 least for health care and clothing. In terms of food, housing and
transportation
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,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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contributed
Verb problem
spent
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most
Correct article usage
the most
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for
Change preposition
on
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 housing which was about 26% ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, Japan spent only 10%
for
Change preposition
on
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transportation
Use synonyms
 which was the least significant among these 3 aforementioned sectors. Canada shared nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 for housing and
transportation
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 and that was about 21% and 20^ respectively. In relation to
health-care
Correct your spelling
health care
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 and clothing,
Correct article usage
the
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UK made up the smallest investment about 2% for health care but
Canda
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Canada
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 spent about 7% which was the highest among all the countries.
Submitted by sahareatushar124 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words transportation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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