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Band 4.5

The given bar chart compares frequency of using Internet by seperate categorie of people in terms of age in UK druing a period of 4 years between 2003 and 2006.

The given bar chart compares frequency of using Internet by seperate categorie of people in terms of age in UK druing a period of 4 years between 2003 and 2006.
#bar #frequency #internet #seperate #categorie #people #terms #age #uk #period #years
Overall
, throughout 4 years the youth
at age
Change preposition
aged
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
16-24 were at the top list of
Internet
 users
while
olp
Correct your spelling
old
 people who were more than 65 showed the least interest
toward
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 phenomenon.
Moreover
, in 2005, the rate of
internet
 customers among 25-44 and 45-54 year-old ones were the same. As the figures
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
seniors with 16-24 year-old were accounted for the most noticeable consumers at 80%, in 2003 and 2004, and 90 and 100% in 2005 and 2006 respectively.
while
 there was a constant increase in
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of being interested in
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
second
Add an article
the second
a second
show examples
 group with 50,60,70 and 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 2003 to 2006 in turn.
On the other hand
, during a period of 4 years,
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of users with 45-54 rose from 60-80.
In addition
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 no important changes during 2003-2005 in 55-64 years
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people in attention to
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
50% in 2006 from less than 40% in 2005.
Interstingly
Correct your spelling
Interestingly
, less than 20%
og
Correct your spelling
of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 with more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 65 utilized
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Submitted by mahrokh.alaei on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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