IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The line below shows how many students of a school in the UK chose to take part in four different sports between 2001 and 2011.

#line #students #school #uk #part #four #sports
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The line chart illustrates the
number
 of
students
decided
Correct pronoun usage
who decided
show examples
 to participate in four different sports between 2001 and 2011 in the UK.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
students
 chose to play football throughout the period,
while
 basketball became less popular
at the end
 of the period. The
number
 of
students
chose
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
show examples
 to play running and swimming
similarly
 increased until 2006, when running continued to rise but swimming fell. In terms of football, it was the most popular sport, which accounted for 60
students
 in 2001, and it had some fluctuations.
Finally
, it reached just under 70
students
 in 2011. The
number
 of basketball players began at around 55
students
 in 2001, and it rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to just above 60
students
 in 2006. After that, it dramatically dropped to just above 20
students
 in 2008 and remained at the same level until 2011.
Additionally
, each
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number
 of swimmers and runners accounted for around 20
students
. They relatively increased to 50
students
 in 2006. The trend of running still climbed to reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60
students
 in 2011.
By contrast
, the
number
 of swimmers declined after 2006.
Finally
, it dropped to around 25
students
 in 2011.
Submitted by sahawat.ww on

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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction paraphrases the question effectively and provides a clear overview of the main trends observed in the graph.
Task Achievement
Support each point you make with specific data from the graph. The inclusion of more precise figures and comparisons could enhance the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay in a clear logical structure, with separate paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
A concluding statement summarizing the key trends or overall movement shown in the graph would be beneficial to include.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to help the reader follow the progression of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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