In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

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Currently, there are many qualified
graduates
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from
university
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who are unemployed. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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there are several factors contribute to
this
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phenomenon. But, the government and the
university
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have to do something to prevent
this
Linking Words
trend continues in society. Primarily, there are limited places to
work
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. A
university
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can graduate hundreds or thousands
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students
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of students
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simultaneously.
As a consequence
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, the
job
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field that has been provided cannot accommodate all of them. More importantly, many highly intelligent
graduates
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are unmotivated to pursue new
job
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opportunities for communities. Several universities in Indonesia,
for example
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, solely provide their student with skills without teaching them how to open
business
Correct article usage
a business
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except for those majoring in business.
Consequently
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, upon graduating, they are often at a loss for what to do after facing rejection from companies.
However
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, the government, which holds the highest authority in a country, could do something to tackle
this
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problem.
First,
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by creating more
job
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opportunities for recent
graduate
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graduates
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, allowing them to have more
job
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vacancies.
Secondly
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, the government could provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fresh
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graduates
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graduate
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students
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to
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with
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preliminary
work
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experience in a company, allowing them to have experiences that attract
big
Add an article
the big
a big
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company
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companies
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to recruit an
experience
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experienced
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worker.
Moreover
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, most crucially, the responsibility lies with the
university
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. Conducting
job
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seminars for each department in the
university
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can better prepare
students
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for the professional world.
Thus
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, they will be able to secure employment immediately upon graduation. In conclusion,
high
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highly
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qualified
graduates
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are disabling to get a
job
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because lack of
job
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opportunities and
willing
Replace the word
willingness
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to open new
business
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businesses
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. But, the governments and the universities can tackle
this
Linking Words
problem by opening new sectors that give them more chance
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work
Fix the infinitive
to work
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, and prepare the
students
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both for
work
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experience and knowledge in their
specialties
Change the spelling
specialities
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.

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task achievement
Ensure a clear overarching thesis statement in your introduction to guide your essay.
coherence cohesion
A clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph will help to establish the main idea more firmly.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and data to strengthen your main points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand your conclusion to restate the essay's main points and your thesis, without introducing new ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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