In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation

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Currently, there are many qualified

graduates

from

university

who are unemployed. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

there are several factors contribute to

this

phenomenon. But, the government and the

university

have to do something to prevent

this

trend continues in society. Primarily, there are limited places to

work

. A

university

can graduate hundreds or thousands

students

Change preposition

of students

show examples

simultaneously.

As a consequence

, the

job

field that has been provided cannot accommodate all of them. More importantly, many highly intelligent

graduates

are unmotivated to pursue new

job

opportunities for communities. Several universities in Indonesia,

for example

, solely provide their student with skills without teaching them how to open

business

Correct article usage

a business

show examples

except for those majoring in business.

Consequently

, upon graduating, they are often at a loss for what to do after facing rejection from companies.

However

, the government, which holds the highest authority in a country, could do something to tackle

this

problem.

First,

by creating more

job

opportunities for recent

graduate

Fix the agreement mistake

graduates

show examples

, allowing them to have more

job

vacancies.

Secondly

, the government could provide

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fresh

graduates

Change the noun form

graduate

show examples

students

Change preposition

with

show examples

preliminary

work

experience in a company, allowing them to have experiences that attract

big

Add an article

the big

a big

show examples

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

to recruit an

experience

Change the verb form

experienced

show examples

worker.

Moreover

, most crucially, the responsibility lies with the

university

. Conducting

job

seminars for each department in the

university

can better prepare

students

for the professional world.

Thus

, they will be able to secure employment immediately upon graduation. In conclusion,

high

Replace the word

highly

show examples

qualified

graduates

are disabling to get a

job

because lack of

job

opportunities and

willing

Replace the word

willingness

show examples

to open new

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

. But, the governments and the universities can tackle

this

problem by opening new sectors that give them more chance

work

Fix the infinitive

to work

show examples

, and prepare the

students

both for

work

experience and knowledge in their

specialties

Change the spelling

specialities

show examples

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Jan 05 2024

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task achievement

Ensure a clear overarching thesis statement in your introduction to guide your essay.

coherence cohesion

A clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph will help to establish the main idea more firmly.

task achievement

Provide specific examples and data to strengthen your main points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Expand your conclusion to restate the essay's main points and your thesis, without introducing new ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. •Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?