IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

you and some friends ate a meal at a resturant to celebrte a special ocaasion , and you were very pleased with the food and service. write a letter to the resturant manager , in you letter give a detail of your visit to the resturant explain the reason for the celebration say what was good about the food and service

#friends #resturant #celebrte #ocaasion #food #service #manager #detail #visit #reason #celebration
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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope
this
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 letter finds you well. I writing
this
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 letter to tell you about the problem I had to face
last
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 Friday when I worked at home . As you know, I am a payable officer in the billing team, so I have to work a lot on the
computer
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 which the company gave to me. Unfortunately, the monitor of the
computer
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 was not working anymore and I had to borrow my friend’s screen to finish my job.
Besides
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 that, my
computer
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 shows signs of running slower.
This
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 problem is affecting the performance of my work. Given the current circumstances, I hope the company can buy a new monitor or change the whole
computer
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 for me, which will help me to solve the job quickly and effectively. Thank you for your time and consideration. Best regards, Ngoc Bao Nguyen
Submitted by ngochd98 on

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task response
The letter does not address the given prompt, which requires you to write about a dining experience at a restaurant. Stick to the topic provided.
logical structure
Organize your thoughts more clearly with a logical sequence. The letter should start with a proper salutation, followed by an introduction to the occasion, body paragraphs describing the meal and service, and a concluding remark.
single idea per paragraph
Use clear paragraphing with a single idea per paragraph - introduction, reason for celebration, compliments on food and service, conclusion with thanks.
suitable writing tone
Ensure that the writing tone is suitable for the purpose of the letter. It should be appreciative and should reflect the positive dining experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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