In future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash.All payments may have to be mafe by card or using phones. Do yoy think this will happen one day? Why fo you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash ?
Using cards and phones
instead
of cash
payments
has been developed during
recent decades. The simplicity of utilizing new technologies like Change preposition
in
smart phones
and cards, Correct your spelling
smartphones
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
people
to substitute their shopping methods. Developing of
these features may lead to Change preposition
apply
decline
Add an article
the decline
a decline
of
using Change preposition
in
cash
money
. Although
some groups are not satisfied with the subject, but
technology will proceed Remove the conjunction
apply
its
way and Change preposition
in its
makes
individuals adapt themselves.
First of all, the excessive usage of Correct subject-verb agreement
make
computer
and online deals, need appropriate payment methods which could support them. So through these facts and Fix the agreement mistake
computers
also
by significant
increase in online deals, Add an article
a significant
the significant
people
change their habits and alternate cash
by
new Change preposition
with
e-card
and online Fix the agreement mistake
e-cards
payments
. The positive points of the new method like,
Remove the comma
apply
easy
way of carrying it along and diminishing the chance of being rubbed and Correct article usage
an easy
also
sometimes the possibility of using it in different countries make people
appreciate these new ways of payment and avoid using cash
money
. Another reason,
is that online Remove the comma
apply
payments
and using cards will grow
Verb problem
increase
the
transparency in society and Correct article usage
apply
government
could trace Correct article usage
the government
money
transition, so fewer people
could avoid legal tax
and the possibility of Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
achieving
illegal Verb problem
obtaining
money
and using it will diminish. In addition
, future technologies like self- drive
Correct your spelling
self-driving
taxies
and robotic restaurants or cafes need basic features which are adaptable Correct your spelling
taxis
with
these technologies and there will be no other choice unlessChange preposition
to
,
using electronic Remove the comma
apply
payments
methods.
There is a common truth in society which shows not every member of it will accept or appreciate changes. Change the noun form
payment
Also
getting used to new habits is not a convenient factor. The first group who could resist substituting cash
payments
with other new ways will be elderly
generation , through their age and Correct article usage
the elderly
also
years of using a familiar method of payment, it would not be easy for them to change themselves and learn a new item .The other group will be the ones who try to decline their legal taxes or those who earn asset
through illegal activities . Because online Fix the agreement mistake
assets
payments
could lead to a growing transparency, so
those Correct word choice
apply
people
who earn illegal moneys
may not appreciate new procedures Change the wording
money
amounts of money
sums of money
of
paying .
In conclusion, Change preposition
for
although
there are some minority groups who resist the new alternative paying systems, but
with all the positive points which Remove the conjunction
apply
new
paying system occurred to us, it Correct article usage
the new
make
the changes inevitable gradually.Change the verb form
makes
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, though transitions could be smoother. Ensure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next by using cohesive devices effectively.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, providing an adequate understanding of the topic and the writer's position. However, these could be enhanced by more directly addressing the question prompt and clearly stating the thesis in the introduction while summarizing the main points more effectively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are broadly supported with explanations, but they would benefit from more varied and specific examples to bolster the argument. Develop each point with detailed illustrations that closely relate to the topic.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt, but there is room to explore the implications of a cashless society in more depth. Exact requirements of the task should be fulfilled, including a balanced discussion on why some may find it hard to transition to non-cash payment methods.
task achievement
Ideas are articulated clearly and are generally comprehensive, but strive for greater clarity by explicitly linking them back to the question. Additionally, complexity and sophistication of thought will add depth to the analysis presented.
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant but require more specificity to convincingly support the argument. Use concrete examples supported by data or real-world scenarios whenever possible to increase the strength of your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.