Task 2: Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is clear that
working as
military
Correct article usage
a military
show examples
force
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
a lot of energy and endurance.
While
some people agree that
women
should get an equal amount of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
as men, others believe that
this
is not a proper job for
women
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and give my view. On the one hand, one justification given is to become a soldier, people need great physical stamina and men kind have it more than
women
. To illustrate
this
diference
Correct your spelling
difference
, biologically men are stronger than
women
.
This
is an issue for
women
because most of their daily basis will be
fight
Wrong verb form
spent fighting
show examples
and
catch
Wrong verb form
catching
show examples
the enemies, and they have to deal with a ton of physical and mental exercise.
Consequently
, our society still
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
Add an article
a skeptical
show examples
skeptical
Change the spelling
sceptical
show examples
mindset towards the
women
in military force.
However
, the main reason females should treated equally is they have sharp strategy and intuition. These talents are very paramount in the force since they
could sensing
Wrong verb form
can sense
show examples
the dangers and
create
Verb problem
make
show examples
mindful decisions.
For example
, using their analytical thinking and sensing ability, they could predict 10 steps
further
, and how to handle sudden situations.
In contrast
,
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
are not an intuitive kind, but
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
logic
instead
. Evidently, females have their own
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
, in fact, those abilities play an important role
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
strategy in the team. In conclusion,
although
males are stronger physically, females are a paramount aspect because of
intuitive
Correct pronoun usage
their intuitive
show examples
personality.
Therefore
, I am firmly convinced that
lady
Correct article usage
a lady
show examples
can become a great soldier and ought to
be treat
Change the verb form
be treated
show examples
fairly.
Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on

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Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, it's crucial to fully develop your arguments with specific examples or data to support them. The response should answer all parts of the task with well-explained ideas and clear progression throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, use a range of cohesive devices appropriately and ensure paragraphs and sentences are ordered logically. Aim for clarity in the progression of ideas and maintain a clear central topic within each paragraph.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equality
  • stereotypes
  • diversity
  • physical prowess
  • discrimination
  • negotiation skills
  • gender roles
  • morale
  • integrated forces
  • equal opportunities
  • unit cohesion
  • combat effectiveness
  • bias
  • harassment
  • meritocracy
  • transformative
  • empowerment
What to do next:
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