Task 2: Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #women #role #men #country’s #police #force #kinds #jobs

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is clear that

working as

military

Correct article usage

a military

show examples

force

require

Change the verb form

requires

show examples

a lot of energy and endurance.

While

some people agree that

women

should get an equal amount of

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

as men, others believe that

this

is not a proper job for

women

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and give my view. On the one hand, one justification given is to become a soldier, people need great physical stamina and men kind have it more than

women

. To illustrate

this

diference

Correct your spelling

difference

, biologically men are stronger than

women

This

is an issue for

women

because most of their daily basis will be

fight

Wrong verb form

spent fighting

show examples

and

catch

Wrong verb form

catching

show examples

the enemies, and they have to deal with a ton of physical and mental exercise.

Consequently

, our society still

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

Add an article

a skeptical

show examples

skeptical

Change the spelling

sceptical

show examples

mindset towards the

women

in military force.

However

, the main reason females should treated equally is they have sharp strategy and intuition. These talents are very paramount in the force since they

could sensing

Wrong verb form

can sense

show examples

the dangers and

create

Verb problem

make

show examples

mindful decisions.

For example

, using their analytical thinking and sensing ability, they could predict 10 steps

further

, and how to handle sudden situations.

In contrast

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

are not an intuitive kind, but

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

logic

instead

. Evidently, females have their own

strength

Fix the agreement mistake

strengths

show examples

, in fact, those abilities play an important role

to make

Change preposition

in making

show examples

strategy in the team. In conclusion,

although

males are stronger physically, females are a paramount aspect because of

intuitive

Correct pronoun usage

their intuitive

show examples

personality.

Therefore

, I am firmly convinced that

lady

Correct article usage

a lady

show examples

can become a great soldier and ought to

be treat

Change the verb form

be treated

show examples

fairly.

Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on Fri Jan 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

For Task Achievement, it's crucial to fully develop your arguments with specific examples or data to support them. The response should answer all parts of the task with well-explained ideas and clear progression throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, use a range of cohesive devices appropriately and ensure paragraphs and sentences are ordered logically. Aim for clarity in the progression of ideas and maintain a clear central topic within each paragraph.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

equality
stereotypes
diversity
physical prowess
discrimination
negotiation skills
gender roles
morale
integrated forces
equal opportunities
unit cohesion
combat effectiveness
bias
harassment
meritocracy
transformative
empowerment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many companies and organisations require their employees to wear uniforms. What kind of jobs require uniforms? What are the disadvantages of wearing a uniform to work?
The notion suggests that there is an obligation for employees in a lot of companies to wear the same formal garment. This essay will suggest that loss of inequality and more focus towards their own job are the biggest advantages of this, but loss of self-expression and uncomfortable attire are the primary disadvantages.
6.5
band
Some people feel that manufactureres and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Packages are of tremendous help when it comes to the transportation of goods, and they are even crucial in some products for correct handling. Whilst some people believe that manufacturers and sellers should take care of this vital process, I believe that diminishing the amount of packaging is a task that implies both the consumer and producer.
<4
band
Do the advantages of the government spending their money on college and university fees for students outweigh the disadvantages?
Spending money on the collage and university fees for the students by government is a good idea to provide the better education and infrastructure to students. In my opinion, there are disadvantages of this approach than the advantages.
6.5
band
Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. Discuss both side and give your opinion.
In today's controversial world, we can see that there is a significant development in technology and all human beings are getting attached to their technical devices such as smartphones, televisions,computers etc. People say that computers are easy and convenient to use and it has changed human life and made it easier while others oppose that the devices have brought stress and frustration to the current life which made it complex to live.
4.5
band
Some people argue that the use of technology in classrooms enhances learning, while others believe it has more drawbacks than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this modern epoch, technology has developed compared to the past. Whereas some think that using technology in classrooms that enhances pupil's learning, others say that it has more adverse effects. This essay discusses both views; I strongly agree with the former opinion because technology assists to more students to learn.

Task 2: Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many companies and organisations require their employees to wear uniforms. What kind of jobs require uniforms? What are the disadvantages of wearing a uniform to work?

Some people feel that manufactureres and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Do the advantages of the government spending their money on college and university fees for students outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

Some people argue that the use of technology in classrooms enhances learning, while others believe it has more drawbacks than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.