Many people can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the empoyers. To what extent you agree or dis agree.

Nowadays
employees
with the support of modern advancement do not need to go to their office can help them save time and
work
flexibly.
Nevertheless
,
this
case might be advantageous for workers without employers. I personally believe that
this
change is
muatual
Correct your spelling
mutual
mutually
beneficial for both
employees
and
empoyers
Correct your spelling
employers
. Thanks to the development of automation, office workers can
work
without commuting, which could help them save a large of time and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
fees. Especially, in case their officers are far from
home
,
this
is an ideal environment for individuals to be able to avoid losing much effort to moving.
For example
, my father needs to go to his
company
, which is too far from my house, around 15 km. He takes nearly 30 minutes to come daily,
therefore
, he sometimes gets tired of
this
problem. Another positive for
employees
, when they stay from
home
to
work
, is that they can
work
flexibly without face to face with many people managers and bosses among them.
As a result
, creating a comfortable environment and free mind for workers can
work
effectively.
On the other hand
, working from
home
was seen as a disadvantage for hosts, meanwhile,
in contrast
, employers
also
benefit from
this
tendency by saving many operation fees and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
costs for the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
workforce and checking effective working through modern technology tools. In case
employees
can
work
from
home
, it will bring
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge cost
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
for the
company
.
For example
, a technology
company
such
as Google
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
thousands of staff not need to come to the office,
this
can save a massive cost for
this
company
each year.
Besides
that, nowadays with the progress of gadgets, managers can observe their
labors
Change the spelling
labours
show examples
whenever and have a meeting online immediately to evaluate at one time, and still maintain the
company
effectively. In conclusion, the more developed technology, the more benefits can bring for both
employees
and employers in managing and operating a flexible working environment
Submitted by pnkhanhlove on

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task achievement
You will need to ensure that the essay stays focused and clearly addresses the question asked throughout the response. The essay here tends to be somewhat repetitive and off-topic at times, making the argument less convincing.
coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score in coherence and cohesion, pay close attention to the logical progression of your ideas. Use a variety of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs effectively. Make sure that these devices are used appropriately throughout the essay.
task achievement
To provide a more supported argument, you must include more relevant and specific examples that directly support your main points. This will make your essay more compelling and improve the quality of your task response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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