It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

The topic under consideration is the role of
punishment
in teaching
children
the difference between
right
and wrong. The problem lies in the potential drawbacks and limitations of using
punishment
as a primary tool in shaping a child's understanding of morality.
While
acknowledging the importance of instilling moral values early on, I disagree with the notion that
punishment
is necessary for
this
purpose.
Firstly
, positive reinforcement is a more effective method for encouraging good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
in
children
.
Instead
of focusing on
punishment
, rewarding positive actions reinforces the desired
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
For instance
, praising a child for sharing toys or helping others creates a positive association with moral actions, promoting a genuine understanding of
right
and wrong.
Moreover
,
punishment
may lead to fear and resentment, hindering the development of a child’s moral compass. When
children
associate wrongdoing with
punishment
, they might learn to avoid
punishment
rather than truly understanding the ethical implications of their actions.
This
can result in superficial compliance without genuine internalization of moral values. In summary,
while
the importance of teaching
children
right
from wrong is undeniable, resorting to
punishment
may not be the most effective approach. Positive reinforcement fosters a more lasting understanding of morality, encouraging
children
to embrace good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
willingly. It is crucial to consider alternative methods that prioritize the development of a child’s intrinsic sense of
right
and wrong over fear-based approaches.
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task response
Be sure to address all parts of the task. The essay somewhat neglects the second question regarding what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use.
task response
Develop your ideas further with more specific real-world examples to strengthen your arguments. This would enhance the relevance and depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Continue to maintain a clear logical structure throughout your essay. This has been done well, as the essay proceeds logically from the introduction through the main body to the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state your opinion and summarize your main points, respectively. You have provided both, though they can be enhanced to be more impactful.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with a clear line of reasoning and ensure that each paragraph develops a single main idea. You have started well in this aspect, but further expansion and depth would increase the effectiveness of each point made.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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