In addition to your full-time job, you are taking a 15-hour Computer Science course. You now find that you cannot continue with the course. Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter: Describe your schedule and situation Explain why you cannot continue the course Say what action you would like to take Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Ms. Franklin,

#addition #job #-hour #computer #science #course #tutor #schedule #situation #action #addresses #ms #franklin

Dear Ms. Franklin, I am Paul , I am a student of your evening batch of computer science

course

. I am writing

this

letter to inform you that , I am not able to continue with the

course

because of office work .

To begin

with , I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

enrolled in

this

course

two days ago and for your information, I have already paid my full fees. Actually,

this

course

really will help me to enhance my skills .

Moreover

, it is useful for

overall

development in my career

that is

why I have decided to join

this

course

Furthermore

,I am not able to attend my classes because my company is deploying me at a client location for a few weeks. But I will be back by the end of next month. Afterwards, I can take my continue to attend my classes in the evening. Hereby I request you to , Please transfer me in next month batch. I will be highly obliged to you.

Submitted by preetiaug25 on Mon Jan 08 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion - Logical Structure

Ensure that the letter has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Separate ideas into clear paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion - Greeting and Closing

Use a proper closing salutation to end the letter formally.

Coherence and Cohesion - Single Idea per Paragraph

Develop each paragraph around a single main idea. Ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next.

Task Achievement - Complete Response

Include all the points mentioned in the task. Provide an explanation for each point, and make sure to state clearly the action you would like to take.

Task Achievement - Suitable Writing Tone

Use an appropriate tone for formal correspondence. Maintain consistent formality throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

167 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many young people nowadays choose to remain unmarried. Why are people doing this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people get into debt by buying thing they do not need and cannot afford. What is the reason for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?