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Writing Samples /
Band 6

In addition to your full-time job, you are taking a 15-hour Computer Science course. You now find that you cannot continue with the course. Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter: Describe your schedule and situation Explain why you cannot continue the course Say what action you would like to take Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Ms. Franklin,

#addition #job #-hour #computer #science #course #tutor #schedule #situation #action #addresses #ms #franklin
Dear Ms. Franklin, I am Paul , I am a student of your evening batch of computer science
course
. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that , I am not able to continue with the
course
 because of office work .
To begin
 with , I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
enrolled in
this
course
 two days ago and for your information, I have already paid my full fees. Actually,
this
course
 really will help me to enhance my skills .
Moreover
 , it is useful for
overall
 development in my career
that is
 why I have decided to join
this
course
 .
Furthermore
 ,I am not able to attend my classes because my company is deploying me at a client location for a few weeks. But I will be back by the end of next month. Afterwards, I can take my continue to attend my classes in the evening. Hereby I request you to , Please transfer me in next month batch. I will be highly obliged to you.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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Coherence and Cohesion - Logical Structure
Ensure that the letter has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Separate ideas into clear paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion - Greeting and Closing
Use a proper closing salutation to end the letter formally.
Coherence and Cohesion - Single Idea per Paragraph
Develop each paragraph around a single main idea. Ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next.
Task Achievement - Complete Response
Include all the points mentioned in the task. Provide an explanation for each point, and make sure to state clearly the action you would like to take.
Task Achievement - Suitable Writing Tone
Use an appropriate tone for formal correspondence. Maintain consistent formality throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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