Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People
nowadays have their own reason to find the most suit
Correct your spelling
suitable
job
for themself. While
society believes that job
should give Correct article usage
a job
a
Remove the article
apply
satisfaction
for
workers, I stand with those that Change preposition
to
job
stability
is more important.
Regarding job
satisfaction
, it is a good foundation to keep productive for some people
. When individuals working
equaly with their salary, have Wrong verb form
work
a
Correct article usage
apply
spesific
roles, good leaders and get Correct your spelling
specific
an
achievement and Correct article usage
apply
reward
as Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
their
expected, all could improve worker Correct pronoun usage
they
satisfaction
. However
, all of those circumtances
are may hard to find, to have Correct your spelling
circumstances
a
ideal working environment as Change the article
an
people
expected. Moreover
, working on those could get in start-up companies which have more
flexible working culture. Correct article usage
a more
However
, this kind
of companies are at risk and not sustainable. To illustrate, in Indonesia workers who work in Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
start-up
could achieve Fix the agreement mistake
start-ups
job
satisfiction
because of Correct your spelling
satisfaction
dynamic
working atmosphere. But lately, one-by-one start-up companies in Indonesia are closed because of Correct article usage
the dynamic
lack
of capital.
In terms of Correct article usage
a lack
stable
Add an article
a stable
job
, i
believe is a good foundation for Change the capitalization
I
long-term
career. Add an article
a long-term
Stabled
Add an article
The stabled
A stabled
job
usually can be found at Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
well-establish
Add an article
a well-establish
the well-establish
company
or government bodies, Fix the agreement mistake
companies
which
both of Correct pronoun usage
apply
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
Change preposition
of organization
organization
have a big structure, good corporate governance and going Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
concren
. Despite of working in Correct your spelling
concern
stable
company is sometimes boring and Add an article
a stable
the stable
have
a lot of Correct subject-verb agreement
has
birocracy
, it Correct your spelling
bureaucracy
have
several advantages Change the verb form
has
such
as less worried
Replace the word
worry
of
Change preposition
about
layoff
and Fix the agreement mistake
layoffs
fix
income every month. Wrong verb form
fixed
Therefore
, if people
have a low risk appetite for job
, Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
then
job
stability
is thing
to consider. Add an article
a thing
the thing
For instance
, people
who work as a
civil servants are more stable at Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
Correct pronoun usage
their job
job
because they Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
are already have
Change the verb form
already have
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
role
and their presence is essential to Fix the agreement mistake
roles
run
the government service.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
running
job
satisfaction
can be one factor to find
a Change preposition
in finding
job
, however
Add a comma
however,
i
believe that Change the capitalization
I
job
stability
is more necessary. Therefore
, on balance, I remain firmly convinced that job
stability
as main
Correct article usage
a main
purposes
is a wiser decision.Fix the agreement mistake
purpose
Submitted by 2024successielts on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay requires a more coherent logical structure. It is vital to present ideas clearly and ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next. Consider using linking words more effectively to introduce contrast, additional points, and to conclude your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more effective. Both should clearly state the topic of the essay, the main points of discussion, and your opinion. Make sure the conclusion does not introduce new arguments and succinctly summaries your prior points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your main points need better support with specific examples and developed arguments. Each paragraph should explore a main idea with evidence or examples that are directly related to the topic. Avoid general statements.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt given. A complete response includes discussing both sides of the issue and clearly stating your opinion. It appears the discussion is somewhat unbalanced and could use more detail, especially concerning the perspective you disagree with.
Task Achievement
Work on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. Elaborate on your points to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Ideas should be fully developed and explained with a focus on how they relate to the question prompt.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This strengthens your argument and shows a concrete understanding of the topic. The examples given are not sufficiently detailed and do not enhance the clarity of your argument.