The line chart below shows the employment rate in four different industries in Australia from 1985 to 2015, in five-year intervals. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart below shows the employment rate in four different industries in Australia from 1985 to 2015, in five-year intervals. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart
given
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
information about the employment amount in
differrent
Correct your spelling
different
manufacturing in Australia in 1985 and 2015.
Overall
, the line graph
show
Change the form of the verb
shows
show examples
, there are three
dominated
Replace the word
dominant
show examples
jobs in
varian
Correct your spelling
various
industries from 1985 to 2015 and only one job has been
dicreased
Correct your spelling
decreased
. In 1985, the line
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
the movement of graphics movement construction
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
which started around 9. In the next
period
it was
experiented
Correct your spelling
experienced
experimented
rose two point only about 11.
Subsequently
, after 5 years it have been
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
increased
show examples
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
21.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had
growth
Correct article usage
a growth
show examples
speed forward in the end
period
approximate
Change the word
approximately
show examples
50 in 2015.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
the employment who have
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
in Healthcare
is starting
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
from 10,
then
grown
Wrong verb form
grew to
show examples
about 25 in 1990.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
it is
experiented
Correct your spelling
experienced
growth one
poin
Correct your spelling
point
in 1995.
While
in 2000 it has been increasing significantly to
peack
Correct your spelling
peak
exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
60
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. Technology was had been same
experiented
Correct your spelling
experienced
experience
in 1995. The dominated
woker
Correct your spelling
worker
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
chosen work in
teachnolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
manufacturing around 12
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
higher. in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
period
it was had increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
11. In 1995, it had been
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
around 23,
whereas
it
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
remains
growth at 39. In 2005 had
groth
Correct your spelling
growth
experiented
Correct your spelling
experienced
one
poin
Correct your spelling
point
points
become 40.
Then
it
keep rose
Wrong verb form
kept rising
show examples
until
exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
52 in 2005. In
contracs
Correct your spelling
contrast
,
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
employment
Replace the word
employee
show examples
who has chosen
worked
Change the verb form
to work
show examples
in
Reatail
Correct article usage
the Reatail
show examples
industry was started
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
high rates
instead
of three industries around 15
poins
Correct your spelling
points
. It rose about 23
poin
Correct your spelling
point
points
after 10 years.
However
, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had experienced
pluged
Correct your spelling
plunged
plugged
dramatically until the end of
period
Add an article
the period
a period
show examples
in 2005.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.

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