More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

A wide range of
household
machines is acquired by an increasing number of clients.
While
it
does
Verb problem
is
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harmful to the
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
to some extent, I believe that its advantages overweight its
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
. On the one hand, the increasing purchasing of
household
products improves the national economy efficiently. As the customers pay more for
household
items, the income of related companies would grow rapidly, so that more career opportunities are offered, and more
people
are employed, which enhances
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public consumption. The government can
also
charge more tax from these companies,
then
invest the money into the basic facilities.
For example
, the delivery industry behind the boosting consumption benefits the transform successfully,
therefore
citizens get more convenient transport.
Furthermore
, the economy would upgrade to some extent,
while
people
are getting rich.
On the other hand
,
people
nowadays are extremely busy,
who
Correct word choice
and
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even
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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no time to do house works. In
this
case, the growing number of automatic
household
equipment frees them from time-wasting house activities.
For example
, the microwave machines help them heat the meals, and the cleaning robots help them tidy the ground. It is obvious that many other tasks can be handled by the
household
appliances in the same way in the future.
Besides
, the increasing
household
Correct quantifier usage
number of household
show examples
products will cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues inevitably.
People
throw away the products immediately
,
Remove the comma
apply
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since it updates rapidly. The materials used in these tools are hard to degrade,
such
as the plastic interlayer. They will emit the poison continuously, which
worsen
Correct subject-verb agreement
worsens
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the soil quality. Indeed, the filling areas will run out of
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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space as
them
Change the pronoun
they
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increase. In
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, the roar trend of investing in a wide assortment of
household
items boosts the national economy,
as well as
saves individuals's time. As long as we recycle the utensils reasonably, we
would
Wrong verb form
will
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benefit from it in
a
Correct article usage
the
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long run.
Submitted by yuxinyun_2023 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay provides an introduction and conclusion, which is good, but both could be clearer and more engaging to the reader. Additionally, the main points are not fully developed and could be supported with more specific and relevant examples. Work on creating more comprehensive and detailed paragraphs to better support your arguments.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the prompt, but the response is not fully developed. There is an imbalance in the discussion as the negative aspect is not as thoroughly argued as the positive one. Aim to provide a more balanced and exhaustive treatment of the subject by including more detailed examples and exploring all aspects of the question equally.
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